Creating Space is the New Multitasking

Several months ago when my husband, Mark, suggested that we take our virtual classroom to Florida for a month, my first thought was, “No way can we do this.”

My brain came up with hundreds of excuses for why this just wouldn’t work. But, I did let the idea marinate. And… maybe I started looking at rentals just for fun.

Finally, one cold day in January, I just called myself out. I said, “Ali - what thought is creating the obstacle for you to take this trip?” The funny thing is… I couldn’t come up with any evidence for why we shouldn’t do it. So - we did it.

We packed up our things and spent a full month in Florida. I was so worried about how I would get all the things that I needed to get done -  done. So, I decided to become curious about what exactly I do in my 12-hour work days. And I was shocked!! Half of the things I was doing were not necessary. They were just filling up my space. Mind Blown. 

I had to figure out why I was avoiding space for myself.

Why was I trying to fill every moment with something? And then it hit me. Somewhere along the way, I lost the belief that space is necessary to allow my brain to be creative. So why was I avoiding my creative side???? My creative side would often give me new ideas that I would then try to take on all by myself. Do you see??? I was avoiding space so that I couldn’t create more so that I would avoid more work because 12 hour days are already way too much.

If I put it in a thought model, it may look like this… 

Circumstance: Space
Thought: I don’t want to have time to think of more projects i will have to put into action
Feeling: Avoidance
Action: Avoid downtime, avoid space, stay small
Result: Protect very little space for myself

Once I made this discovery, I decided that I wanted to rediscover space and creativity. I became very deliberate about my work day. I went on long walks every day. I started listening to other podcasts. I started tapping into my own thoughts. And, for the first time in a really long time, I felt so free and energetic and happy and hopeful. I started creating more. Serving more. And feeling unstoppable.

A month in Florida, with loads of space, was one of the best decisions that we ever made. Mark also created some space… and together, we are planning to go back into action with a very exciting new project.

Space. Space. Space. All day long.

Doing less is the new doing more. Quality not quantity.

I know you all work so hard… day in and day out. So I am inviting you to explore what space looks like for you.

Why You Should Ignore the Scale & Focus On This Instead…

Why Body Composition is a Better Indication of Health & Fitness Than Your Weight

By Ali, Novitsky, M.D., Life & Wellness Coach for Women Physicians

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I have good news — the scale is lying to you! Whatever amount you weigh tells you absolutely nothing about how healthy, fit, or in-shape you actually are. And it definitely doesn’t tell you how you feel in your body either.

In this blog, I discuss how shifting our focus from weight loss to well-balanced body proportions allows you to feel empowered and comfortable in your own skin again.

Read below for some physician wellness tips and learn how to transform the way your body looks WITHOUT LOSING ONE POUND!

1. Focus on Body Composition, Not Weight Loss

Are you unsure how to change the shape of your body?

Obsessed with checking your weight and over-focusing on the number on the scale?

Don’t let the scale fool you — you can lose fat and still be the same weight, yet your body will look completely different.

Under the definition of “body composition” on Wikipedia, it says, “Two people of the same gender and body weight may look completely different because they have a different body composition.”

Healthy body composition is achieved when the percentage of lean mass is greater than the percentage of body fat.  

See guidelines below for healthy body fat percentages for women:

Female Athletes: 14-20%

Optimal Fitness: 21-24%

Healthy Body Fat Average for all Women: 25-31%

As a life coach for women physicians, I’ve seen firsthand how, when you change your body composition, you may still weigh the same but have a completely different body.

Would it surprise you to know that while you get fitter you may actually GAIN WEIGHT? This is exactly why we shouldn’t focus on that number on the scale.

In this article, you’ll see how you can have the same weight at different body composition levels. These shocking transformation photos prove you may not actually change the number on the scale as you tone up, but you will be healthier, stronger, and feel more comfortable when your clothes fit better.

In G.O.A.L.S Society we don’t use a scale to measure results, we use real-life results like how your clothes fit. See transformation photos here.

But, how do you lose fat and gain muscle at the same time?

This article explains this Catch 22, “To reduce your body fat, you have to eat fewer calories than you burn. But to build muscle, you have to eat more calories than you burn. However, your body is smarter than you may give it credit for, and by keeping a close eye on your diet (specifically when you eat what) and your training, you can absolutely lose fat and gain muscle at the same time.”

Here is a list of more realistic ways to measure your body composition and determine your true level of fitness and health. But, all you really have to do is focus on how you feel, how your clothes fit, and how comfortable you are in your body. That is the true measure of success.

We use strength training in G.O.A.L.S Society,  my coaching program for women physicians, and my Macro Nutrition Meal Plan with a focus on protein to rebuild lean muscle as you burn fat. The end result is a strong, toned body that you feel proud of showing off.

1. Stop Comparing Your Body to Unrealistic “Perfect” or “Ideal” Women

Many women want to know what it takes to go from an apple, pear, or rectangle shape to an hourglass shape, but we shouldn’t be focused on making our bodies fit into a mold that isn’t natural for us.

The unrealistic images in ads and online subliminally teach us that our natural body types aren’t desirable or attractive enough as they are, causing shame around our weight and issues with our confidence.

We are constantly fed images in the press of what a “perfect body” is supposed to look like. Social media feeds are full of overly-filtered influencers and magazine covers tend to only feature airbrush-perfect, photoshopped models whose bodies are touted as the “ideal.” Read more on how harmful this standard of beauty is here.

Yet, we often feel an overwhelming desire to look the same way as other women and we unfairly compare ourselves to unachievable images of “perfection” that aren’t even real.

Setting an arbitrary goal weight or trying to meet an imaginary standard that isn’t possible for your body type is only going to cause disappointment and frustration.

In G.O.A.L.S we focus on working with your body instead of fighting against it.

2. Learn to Love Yourself Through Body Positivity

I’m sure many of you have heard of the body positivity movement, but have you taken a minute to think about what that means and how it relates to you?

In reality, we are all built with different structures and have different genetic make-ups so it’s pointless to compare ourselves to other women and feel like our body has to look a certain way to be sexy, attractive, or alluring. 

It is about self-acceptance and owning who we are and that is so empowering! Of course, we can work on how our bodies look by changing our diet and exercise plan, but we have to accept that we have certain limitations that affect us biologically, so we can have realistic body goals and expectations.

Read an inspiring example of body acceptance from Christine, D’Ercole, who overcame a lifetime of body image issues to become a Senior Peloton Instructor.

The research-based fitness plan I use in G.O.A.L.S can be a weight-loss tool for busy physicians, but that is not the focus. The focus is on feeling confident in how you look, accepting your body’s natural structure and challenges, and learning how to get stronger and fitter despite them.

G.O.A.L.S Society takes the pressure off you to reach some elusive “goal weight” and puts the emphasis back on looking and feeling great in your own body.

3. Discover Your Natural Body Type & Practice Self-Acceptance

This doesn’t mean we stay complacent and stop reaching for our goals, it just means we shift our mindset around them. 

There are 3 main body types or “somatypes” called Endomorph, Mesomorph, and Ectomorph. Learn more about the 3 body types and take a free online quiz here to find your unique body type and learn how it affects you. Once you know which body type you are, you can learn what kind of fitness training your specific body type needs. 

This is what we focus on in G.O.A.L.S Society, how to eat and train for your unique body type to get the results you want. 

In G.O.A.L.S the emphasis is on body positivity and self-acceptance. We help you get out of the mindset that you have to fit into a cookie-cutter idea of what your body should look like.

Instead, we look at what your goals are for your body — whether that is to look fit and toned, fit into your clothes better, or re-shape your body composition so you look and feel more balanced.

G.O.A.L.S is not about getting to the smallest size or how much weight you can lose, it’s about being strong, healthy, and feeling good in your own skin.

This fitness and nutrition coaching program for women physicians helps you set realistic body goals and achieve them in an efficient, enjoyable way.

No one’s body is the same, so we give you a custom, evidence-based fitness and training plan that is unique to your body’s needs.

Learn more about G.O.A.L.S Society Physician Coaching for Women.

G.O.A.L.S. =

Get hungry first

Observe for fullness

Allow our feelings

Love to move

Stop perfectionism

The Bad Mood You Can’t Break

I want to talk a bit about “The Bad Mood.”

You know the mood. The one that feels heavy. You can feel it in your chest and also in your head. Have you ever noticed the sensations in your body when you are in this space?

For me, my chest feels heavy, my eyes tired, and my head's under pressure. Sometimes I even feel it in my throat.

Interestingly, if I notice the actions I want to take, I am usually looking to be mad at someone else or pick a fight. Makes sense to me because this is saying that I am not interested in processing my emotion, but rather avoiding it. When we avoid emotion, it just gets more intense. The intensity causes us to believe our negative thoughts even more. It can be quite the downward spiral.

So what do we do?

I always say that the first best move is to just recognize what space we are in without judgement. Admitting that we are feeling a negative emotion, drop the judgement, and instead be curious. What if we didn’t judge and we were just curious?

Once we release the judgement, we can often expand our minds to identify the thoughts that are creating our mood.

If we don’t release the judgement, we may have thoughts like: “I have to do everything,” “No one wants to help me,” “I didn’t do good enough,” “I am not enough,” “Why don’t others show me more love?” “Why can’t I be like Sally?” 

However, if we drop the judgement, we may have thoughts more like: “What if nothing has gone wrong?” “How is this happening for me?” “How do I choose to feel today?” 

With curiosity comes questions. The questions that we avoid asking ourselves because maybe we don’t want to know the answers. “Bad Moods” are opportunities for growth. They can help us figure out what it is that we want and desire. Again, many of us avoid this because we are afraid that our desires might can’t be met. So, maybe easier to just ignore. 

Perhaps a bad mood is an invitation to ask: What do I want and need right now in this moment? Redirecting to the moment right here and now is less intimidating to navigate. 

As I sit here now… in one of those moods… I choose to allow the feeling of “unsettled.” Disappointment is also creeping in. I just allow it. I remain curious. The intensity of the feeling starts to decrease as I consider my curious thoughts.   

Right here and now, I choose to believe that nothing has gone wrong. While the feeling has not gone away, I am now more open to consider other possibilities. How do I want to remember today?  

I think I will sit with these questions a bit longer. Sometimes we aren’t ready to pick a new uplifting thought and feel better. And that is ok. This is how we process emotion.

Don’t rush out of it. Recognize. Be Curious. Decide what you need right here and now. And, don’t be afraid to find out.

Being human is a gift that I am so glad to share with you…

The Top 10 Reasons You Can’t Lose Weight No Matter What You Do

Overcome Fitness & Weight Loss Blind Spots with my Monthly Life Coaching Program for Women Physicians

By Dr. Ali Novitsky, M.D., Life & Wellness Coach for Women Physicians

Newly board certified in Obesity Medicine!

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Have you been doing everything right — eating well, exercising, paying attention to your habits, and frustrated that you’re still not seeing results?

The good news is, you probably aren’t doing anything wrong, you’re just dealing with some common blind spots that are blocking your progress. In this article, I’m going to break down exactly what those are and how to overcome them.

We get discouraged when we are trying hard, sacrificing, and still not getting where we want to be. But all we need to do is identify and release the common fitness and weight loss-hindering habits that keep us from progressing.

And a lot of these harmful daily habits only need some small tweaks to start seeing the changes you want. So, what are they and what can we do about it?

Below I combine many of the top 10 reasons why we get stuck in our fitness and weight loss journeys into 4 main points. But, you can get a quick-reference guide to each of the most common blind spots that keep us from reaching our goals, by downloading my 2 pg. guide below:

Get my easy-to-reference, visual list of the

“The Top 10 Blind Spots to Progress”

here:

Throw this useful guide on your fridge as a reminder to help you stay on track with your goals!

 Now let’s get into it with some physician wellness tips that will keep you on the path to success!

1) Watch Out for Weekends and Alcohol!

We tend to stay focused and do great on the weekdays, but when Friday night comes around, after a long week in our practice as busy women physicians, we feel we deserve a little cheat night to relax and unwind. And there’s nothing wrong with that! The importance of self-care for doctors can’t be understated . . . BUT .  .  .

An extra drink here and there and overeating past when you are already full will sneak up on you — especially if it becomes a habit.

According to this article from Women’s Health, “having four or more drinks on any day or eight or more drinks per week for women) had a 41 percent higher risk of going from a normal weight BMI to an overweight BMI when compared with people who weren’t heavy drinkers . . .”

Here’s a great resource for you: Check out this handy-dandy alcohol calorie counter and you may be surprised at how many calories you are actually packing on with that extra drink or two each week. 

This site is great because you can plug in the number and type of drinks you have per week and it will calculate how many calories that equals. (Agh, shocking right?!?!) For example, if you drink 3 glasses of red wine and 2 beers per week, that equals 681 calories! That’s if you’re pouring the suggested serving size, and let’s face it, we are usually more generous with our pours at home.

Keep a log of your alcohol intake for a week so you can start being realistic with yourself. Then think about the lowered inhibitions that cause you to make other detrimental health choices, like grabbing those extra snacks when you’re drinking or choosing those deep-fried bar foods.

The problem is it will take days to rid your body of the glycogen you have accumulated to get back into a fat-burning mode during the week.  

After a few extra drinks on Friday night, Saturday becomes an even higher calorie, carb-loaded day. Bring on the pizza, pasta, and other feel-good foods. Then, knowing Sundays is your last day to relax, you may be tempted to grab a few more cocktails, trying to push the work week ahead out of your mind.

The idea is not to eliminate, but to cut back. I typically recommend 1 bottle of wine or less per week to start seeing a change in your body composition.

Alcohol is interesting because our body cannot store it. So our body will be busy burning off the alcohol before it can expend any energy to burn off the food we just ate. Our ability to burn fat will be dependent on how easy it is to burn off the alcohol.

At this pace, It’s easy to see how letting everything go on the weekends leads to a vicious cycle of deprivation ➔ overindulgence ➔ an inability to keep the weight off in no time. 

Not to say you can’t enjoy yourself on your time off, that downtime is so important for women physicians and your overall wellness, but the key is moderation.

If you try to model your weekends after your disciplined weekdays, you will see wonders in as little as two weeks, I promise!

2) Taking in More Fats Than We Burn Off

We are all familiar with the high fat, low carb movement, and often think that we are immune to weight gain because our insulin is supposedly low and we think we can't store body fat.

But, losing body fat depends on how much of a deficit we create between our calorie intake and the fat and energy we burn off.

It is very easy to over-eat fats, so we often consume more calories than we think we are without even realizing it.

The bottom line is — we will gain weight if we are in a surplus of calories taken in vs. calories burned off.

Our modern-day, sedentary lifestyle doesn’t do us any favors either. We work out so we think we are fine, but we are sitting most of the day.

As this article from the Washington Post states, “And more recent observational studies comparing workers who sit for long periods against those who sit for fewer hours have found that sedentary workers have more than twice the risk of developing type 2 diabetes and cardiovascular disease, a 13 percent increased risk of cancer and 17 percent increased risk of dying.” 

Did you know 5,000 steps or less per day is considered sedentary? Use this article to pick a pedometer that works for you, and start tracking your steps, you may be surprised by how much you’re sitting in one day!

By bumping up steps and using NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis), we will increase our energy expenditure and achieve results with ease.

This is what I focus on in my physician wellness programs, along with an emphasis on strength training to regain lost energy reserves. 

3) Not Eliminating Weight Loss Byproducts by Drinking Enough Water and Not Eating Enough Protein

We often underestimate how little protein we consume and it’s so important when we are trying to lose weight. This is because protein has the highest thermogenic burn of any macronutrient and thermogenic burn helps us burn off excess calories and fat. When we don’t get enough protein it lowers the potential thermogenic burn and keeps the weight from coming off.

We also tend to be hungrier when we are not eating enough protein. 

If you are putting the time in at the gym, you need the added protein to repair and rebuild your muscles. This will result in a leaner and stronger physique.  

Not drinking enough water also prevents us from losing weight because the byproducts of weight loss leave our body through exhalation and urination.

To maximize body fat loss, we have to drink at least half of our body weight in water and stay hydrated much more than we usually do when we are rushing around as busy women physicians.

4) Finding Balance — Exercising and Sleeping Enough Without Overdoing It

Did you know that if you are getting less than 7 hours of sleep per night, you are considered to be sleep-deprived? And sleep deprivation increases cortisol and ghrelin, which affects weight loss. This is because cortisol causes water retention and ghrelin causes increased appetite.

The increased appetite will leave us feeling uncomfortable and food-focused.

It is also possible to overexercise, which is counterproductive and defeats the purpose.

If we are training multiple hours per week, we often become tired and hungry.  

When we are tired, our primitive brain takes over and starts to make decisions, which are usually ones that we will regret in the morning. 

And it’s no secret that when we are hungry, we tend to overeat. The trick is to balance exercise amount with nutrition intake to hit the sweet spot, allowing us to reach our goals.

The other problem I see a lot, as a life coach for women, is that we get excited and go all in, committing to a complicated exercise routine and strict nutrition program that we can’t sustain long-term.

We forget about the small changes that can make a BIG difference.

Instead of signing up for time and energy-intensive programs that aren’t realistic for your lifestyle, commit to doable, sustainable methods. Trust that changing your habits one at a time will lead to reaching sustainable goals.

These roadblocks to success are exactly why I created the gentle, but effective,

G.O.A.L.S Society, my affordable monthly membership program,

that can be done at home on your schedule.

G.O.A.L.S is for you If you’re a busy woman physician who needs a little extra accountability and encouragement to stick to your weight loss and fitness targets. You will get custom-tailored life coaching from me while joining a fun, supportive environment with your peers.

In G.O.A.L.S Society you get weekly evidence-based fitness workouts, a macro nutrition plan for your specific body type, and mindset coaching using proven Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques.

Knowing what to do for weight loss can be hard for busy physicians, but in this physician coaching program, I will teach you all the secrets behind the transformational results I have gotten for hundreds of my clients over the years.

This is a fool-proof way to get the results that have always elluded you on your own!

See before & after photos of client transformations and read testimonials here!

Unplugging. Is that really a thing?

It’s been a while, my friends. In fact, it is a bit difficult for me to say this since I always want to practice what I preach.

I have not taken a vacation in over a year. I have also worked harder this year than any other year. Those 2 circumstances (no vacation and hardest working year ever) was the perfect recipe for burnout.

Sounds funny for me to say burnout… when this is what I help others prevent and cure. Fortunately, I saw the signs. This time was different though. Even when I wanted to take a break - I just wasn’t. I absolutely love what I do, so to me it seemed that a break wasn’t necessary. Boy, was I wrong.

As vacation approached, I noticed that I felt extra nervous. I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to unplug. I was growing even more restless as I anticipated lazy days by the pool with nothing to do. Seems crazy, huh?

So, back to basics I went. Thought downloading. Recognizing feelings. Incorporating things to help me relax. Taking care of major things ahead of time. Scheduling my time off and staying accountable. 

This time I prepared differently because I knew that it would take me extra time to unwind and unplug. I want to tell you what I am doing… in case it can help you plan for future time off. This week, I have planned for a lighter week from work and began limiting work hours. Also, a huge primer was to limit social media time. This was tough because I always want to hang with my Society group. 

But listen to this... all of my members reminded me that they better not see me online. My members are keeping me accountable. It takes accountability to stay unplugged.

So what next? After my “lighter week,” I will go into true vacation mode. I must say that I have the best assistant on the planet. As we prepare for our upcoming Transform group, we have been uber organized in getting everything ready. I strategically picked my vacation week before the start of Transform 2.0 so that I can bring it. But life is life and of course, one of our gifts will not arrive on time as promised. Instead of being upset, we are choosing to believe that our Transform ladies will just get surprised with a second gift.

Other things may come up next week… but I have committed to unplug. Again, it takes true commitment.

So I ask myself - what is the worst thing that could happen if I am not plugged in? I know I have my team, my members, my community... we will be just fine. There is nothing that needs to take me away from my family next week. It is time that they get the spotlight for a bit. 

Unplugging sounds scary to me now. It never did before. Sometimes, it is great to remember that it is necessary. It needs to be taken as seriously as plugging in. I think I will use the next week to develop some new beliefs about what I want to create this year. I will also spend some time honoring what I have created. Just as I tell you all... I definitely do not do that enough.

I am excited to see the transformation that comes out of this week. I know I will have urges to create some things. But, I will simply write it down and save it for the next week.

Time to unplug.

What the Mediterranean Easter Bunny Taught Me About Cholesterol

In my G.O.A.L.S. Society group, we had a lot of discussion on cholesterol this week. In fact, the story goes like this.

A very fit, young woman with a family history of high cholesterol had her labs checked. Her LDL cholesterol was reported high. She was quite concerned given her family history. She understands while there is a genetic component, she also wants to do her best to address the level.

So what to do??

Before we can discuss solutions, let’s talk about mindset.

Let’s be honest, any time we get a report on our health that doesn’t fit into the “normal” category, we often think about the worst case scenario. From there, we start to blame ourselves and even think that we are flawed, damaged, not right.

So… here is the thing. There is a much bigger picture… the number doesn’t necessarily define us. Adopting a thought such as, “I will do my absolute best to take care of myself, and I will rely on others to help me along the way. I am not alone. I do not have to do this alone,” will allow you to begin working on this...

Ok - let’s get back to cholesterol.

And, I am going to put the focus today on nutrition. I won’t be talking about alternative solutions and medication. Medication may ultimately be necessary because even after the best efforts at making these lifestyle changes, many people still struggle to lower their LDL enough. Again… genetics. And remember, the reason we are concerned about high cholesterol levels is because elevated levels can increase our risk of cardiovascular disease. Other cardiovascular disease risk factors include: family history, smoking, obesity, high-fat foods, inactivity. 

The experts agree that there are nutrition plans that are known to decrease the risk of cardiovascular disease. Today I want to focus on The Mediterranean Diet. The Mediterranean diet, abundant in minimally processed plant-based foods, rich in monounsaturated fat from olive oil, but lower in saturated fat, meats, and dairy products, is an ideal nutritional model for cardiovascular health. 

The main components of Mediterranean diet include:

• Daily consumption of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, and healthy fats

• Weekly intake of fish, poultry, beans, and eggs

• Moderate portions of dairy products

• Limited intake of red meat

Other important elements of the Mediterranean diet are sharing meals with family and friends, enjoying a glass of red wine, and being physically active.

The main sources of fat and alcohol among persons in the traditional Mediterranean are primarily extra-virgin olive oil (EVOO) and red wine, respectively. The abundant use of olive oil, through salads, traditionally cooked vegetables, and legumes, together with the moderate consumption of red wine during meals makes this diet highly nutritious and palatable.

Red wine and EVOO contain several bioactive polyphenols (hydroxytyrosol and tyrosol, oleocanthal, and resveratrol) with postulated anti-inflammatory properties. Postulated antiatherogenic properties of olive oil were supposedly attributed to its high content of monounsaturated fat (MUFA; oleic acid), and some more recent investigations also suggest that bioactive polyphenols, only present in the EVOO, but not in the refined-common variety of olive oil, may contribute to these cardioprotective actions. 

Research has consistently shown that the Mediterranean diet is effective in reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases and overall mortality.

A study of nearly 26,000 women found that those who followed this type of diet had 25% less risk of developing cardiovascular disease over the course of 12 years. The study examined a range of underlying mechanisms that might account for this reduction, and found that changes in inflammation, blood sugar, and body mass index were the biggest drivers.

One interesting finding of this eating plan is that it dispels the myth that people with or at risk for heart disease must eat a low fat diet. Although it does matter which types of fats are chosen, the percentage of calories from fat is less of an issue.

The PREDIMED study, a primary prevention trial including thousands of people with diabetes or other risk factors for heart disease, found that a Mediterranean diet supplemented with extra virgin olive oil or nuts and without any fat and calorie restrictions reduced the rates of death from stroke by roughly 30%. Most dietary fats were healthy fats, such as those from fatty fish, olive oil, and nuts, but total fat intake was generous at 39-42% of total daily calories, much higher than the 20-35% fat guideline as stated by the Institute of Medicine. Risk of type 2 diabetes was also reduced in the PREDIMED trial.  

I think the main takeaways are: genetics play a huge role in everything, you are not broken, help is on the way, you didn’t do anything wrong, all fats are not created equal, let’s all move to Italy.

Identifying Blindspots is The New Pathway to Success

I have to say that we are slowly trialing reentry into the world. I had a Covid-conscious haircut and pedicure, and I feel like a new woman!! This has been quite the year, but as usual I have some new information to share with you. You see, all this extra time has allowed me to dive deeper into science and make some pretty great observations. 

Ok… so how have I been diving into science?

I recently did some metabolic testing on myself. I was trying to see how my current lifestyle (unfiltered) was influencing my health results. Here is what I found. 

First off… my baseline routine is that I exercise most days. I strength train at least 4 days per week and then supplement with some high intensity interval training and some steady state cardio-like walks. My nutrition is based on my Mindful Macro program as well as my G.O.A.L.S. philosophy. With this approach I am excellent at maintaining, but what I was wanting to know more about was the following.

What strategies will give me the most bang for my buck when I am trying to lean out?

Before changing anything, I decided to take an honest look at where I thought I was possibly sabotaging my progress. After a 2-week observation period, it became clear. I sabotage further progress with my weekend lifestyle. 

Here is what happens. I finish my work day on Friday and all of a sudden my brain tells me that it is time to party. We order out, pop open some wine. While I don’t overeat, I definitely consume more carbs, alcohol, and fat. 

When I wake up on Saturday morning, I do not feel great. In the A.M., I work out with my coaching group then I eat my usual protein/carb meal following. The next meal goes well, but Saturday night is our power meal. A power meal is a meal that is going to be higher in carbs/fat/protein and it is used as a mindful way to carb cycle. This allows my body to release extra Leptin and prevents my body from operating as if it is “starving” as I lose body fat.

But, here is how it goes.

My big meal on Friday gave me extra Glycogen which I have not burned off yet. My power meal has now given me a lot more Glycogen that will also be stored. And then Sunday comes. I usually work out with my G.O.A.L.S. Society group and then follow up with protein and carbs. But - my mind is still in the mode of, “I want to party,” and, “I am dreading Monday.” I am starting to feel negative emotions and I want to soothe them with something… maybe with a cocktail. And of course I don’t want to cook, so let’s order out again.

Ok. Monday arrives. I have 3 days worth of extra Glycogen and quite possibly additional body fat because once I cannot burn off what I am consuming, and my muscles and liver are out of storage, I will store as adipose tissue. 

During the week, I have a great habit of being on point with my nutrition. But, instead of making further progress, I spend the week burning off the Glycogen so by Thursday evening, I am finally in fat-burning mode. But then guess what happens… yup… the next weekend happens. Do you see how this is the perfect way to maintain - but not progress? 

Here is your call-to-action.

What are your blindspots?

What are the obstacles that are holding you back from progress?

I am currently making a cool summary of blindspots that I will release soon. But, in the meantime… can you relate? Your progress might be possible with some easy blindspot work.

The Surprising Secret Behind My Mind-Blowing Physician Coaching Transformations

Trick Your Mind Into Achieving Your Health Goals and Get Scientific Solutions for Common Weight Loss Struggles

By Dr. Ali Novitsky, M.D.

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Are you feeling frustrated that you are already exercising and eating well, but still not seeing the results you want?

Or, do you feel like no matter what you do your body composition doesn’t change?

As a physician coach, I’ve spent countless hours researching the science behind why it is so hard to get past that weight loss plateau, that feeling of never feeling satisfied, and the frustration of reaching your goal only to gain the weight back too soon.

What I learned is this — the chemical responses that we set into motion when we start a new fitness or nutrition program naturally negate our efforts.


Just avoiding it won’t work either because, as you know, self-care is SO important for healthcare professionals! We have to practice what we preach right?

So, how do we outsmart our biology and trick our minds and bodies into maintaining the results we work so hard for?

Just check out these transformations:

My Physician Coaching Philosophy is Mind Over Matter

As women physicians, we know how the nervous system works, but we rarely apply what we know scientifically to what happens in our personal journeys.

When we know why our bodies react a certain way, we can gain control over our minds and re-wire our brains to achieve the optimum health and fitness results we desire. It really is mind over matter.

Whether you are looking to cure physician burnout or just curious about what I use as a life coach for women physicians in my intensive, hands-on group training, I promise you will learn some things that surprise even the most seasoned physician by the end of this article!

The philosophy I use as a life coach for women physicians is a scientific, evidence-based approach to fitness, nutrition, and overall health. Often we leave the mind out of our wellness programs for healthcare professionals and, let’s get real, most of our bad habits start with self-defeating thoughts we allow ourselves to believe.

This makes us feel like we are stuck in a rut, where we either achieve some results, then hit a wall, or give up and go back to square one.

Dr. Ali Novitsky - Life Coach for Women Physicians

Below, I am sharing some of the tried and true principles I use in my physician life coaching programs with you. These are just a few examples.

In my women’s life coaching wellness programs, I work with you very closely to overcome these biological challenges together.

How to Use Science to Overcome Common Health & Weight Loss Challenges

1. Strength Training to Overcome Lost Lean Body Mass

Problem: When we lose weight, we also lose lean body mass.

Lean body mass can be from muscle, bones, organs, or water, etc. This happens when we lose weight because, when we are in a calorie deficit, our body burns fat but also muscle to get energy.

The Solution: Strength training just 2-3 times per week will decrease the loss of lean body mass. For every pound lost on the scale, without strength training, up to 25% of lean mass is lost. With strength training, for every pound lost on the scale, the number decreases to an 8% loss. As this article from livestrong.com, mentions, “Some of the most common reasons for excess muscle breakdown include losing weight too fast, cutting calories too low, not meeting protein needs, and not being active enough.”

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2. Using Refeed Meals and Carb Cycling to Combat Hunger Triggers

Problem: As we lose weight, our Leptin levels decrease. This causes our body to hold onto fat because our body believes we are starving. As leptin levels decrease, our body stops losing weight. Our bodies protectively hold onto fat stores because we have triggered its innate starvation mode. In this article, they explain how, when our leptin levels drop, our body sends a signal to our brains that it’s time to eat, making us hungry.

It’s easy to see how this creates a vicious cycle where we work out, get hungry, then eat again. Pretty soon we are right back where we started, frustrated and disappointed.

Solution: Refeed meals or carb cycling. Refeed meals are very important during weight loss.  They remind our bodies that we are not starving.  Refeed meals are often recommended once per week and sometimes more depending on the level of activity.

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3. Add Protein to Your Diet to Keep the Weight Off

Problem: As we lose weight, our ghrelin levels increase, stimulating our appetite and making us hungry. This makes it difficult for us to maintain a healthy weight and keep off the weight we have lost.

According to the stats in this article, most people gain the weight they lose back within one year. Ghrelin, which is found in our gut, is often the culprit. This can be extremely frustrating if you have worked hard to get the weight off only to see it sneak back in slowly over time. This chemical tells your brain it’s hungry and causes weight gain if unchecked.

Solution: Learn to recognize true hunger utilizing a balanced approach to nutrition with a focus on protein. Protein is the macronutrient that will help maintain lower levels of ghrelin. If you are working on losing weight, finding ways to incorporate more protein in your diet will keep you from gaining back all the weight you have worked so hard to lose while maintaining a healthy weight.

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4. Get Enough Sleep to Keep you from Over-Eating During the Day 

Problem: Lack of sleep causes your weight loss to stall. We have all heard this over and over again but why IS sleep so important? When we are sleep deprived, we become more insulin resistant and our ghrelin levels increase, causing us to become tired and hungry. And, let’s face it, as women and doctors, we are often running on empty and working long shifts making sleeping 8 hours a day feel like an impossible dream. But, getting enough sleep is crucial for weight loss.

Solution: Plan to get at least 7 hours of sleep each night if you want to keep the weight off and feel good. If you know you are going to be working overtime, make sure to get more sleep ahead of time to balance it out. A study mentioned in this article at the University of Chicago, even found that a lack of sleep affects us on a molecular level in the endocannabinoid system, responsible for pleasure and reward. It states:

“When sleep-deprived, participants had eCB levels in the afternoons that were both higher and lasted longer than when they’d had a full night’s rest. This occurred around the same time that they reported increases in hunger and appetite.”

It is easy to see, then, why we feel we have to reach for high-calorie jumpstarters like that Venti Starbucks Frappe to get us through the day when we are drained of energy and need a “quick fix”. Making this a habit soon leads to weight gain and that crummy, always tired feeling.

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The secret to my unique physician coaching formula is simple — it’s science!

If you are curious about how I coach physicians to live healthier, more fulfilling lives, and overcome these difficult weight loss struggles, click here to schedule a call with our concierge team.

These are custom-designed wellness programs for busy women physicians that are easily done at home on your own time with the support of your peers!

Join other women physicians like you who are focused on self-care and wellness.

Feel better starting now. Not just in your body, but in your mind — and for good! Wellness for physicians is not just important, it’s VITAL to prevent or reduce burnout and, more importantly, to feel happy again!

The Fitness Hack That I Have Ignored For Way Too Long

It’s officially Spring, and a great time to shed winter layers, as well as habits that don’t serve you that may have developed over the past few months. 

Today, I want to shift gears and talk about a new concept that I am heavily promoting in my coaching programs. Before I tell you, I want to first remind you of my philosophy. I think the most important factors that will predict long-term health success are consistency and sustainability.

So often we pick goals that we are unable to be consistent with, therefore we are unable to sustain our results long-term. I always say, before you are willing to commit to something… ask yourself, “can I sustain this for at least 18 months?” While many say that we can change a habit in 21 days, I don’t necessarily agree. I believe that we can discover a new habit in 21 days, we can realize that it is sustainable in 6 months, and it can become a lifestyle in about 2 years.

I am talking about your habits becoming a lifestyle to the point that you don’t even have to think in order to make great choices.

Ok, getting back to the fitness hack that I want to share with you today. As we age, our metabolism slows mostly because we lose lean muscle mass if we are not using it. Our total energy expenditure is dependent on our basal metabolic rate + exercise activity + thermogenic effect of digesting food. 

I want to now focus on the exercise component. Exercise consists of planned activity and unplanned activity. The planned activity is called EAT (exercise activity thermogenesis). The unplanned activity is called NEAT (non-exercise activity thermogenesis).

NEAT comprises the activities such as walking the stairs, carrying laundry upstairs, cleaning the kitchen, etc. EAT plus NEAT comprises about 30% of our daily calorie burn. Experts believe that the difference between a naturally thin person versus someone who struggles may live in our commitment to NEAT.

Now, NEAT is not a fast strategy to improve fitness… but it is an effective and sustainable one. Other experts believe that NEAT may actually be more important than EAT.

My mother has maintained her weight her entire life focusing completely on NEAT… she never had a planned exercise program. NEAT also allows us to be more intuitive. If we begin to commit to NEAT now, in a year’s time - I believe we will see a huge difference in our fitness. 

One month ago, I started wearing my pedometer. I wanted to see how many steps I was achieving outside of exercise. I was shocked when I saw that most of my activity was coming from planned exercise. Some days, I was getting less than 5,000 steps per day which is considered sedentary.

This data motivated me to make a commitment. I am committing to 10,000 steps each day. I will follow my progress over a year’s time and see if this intervention alone can improve my fitness and body composition. This is a long-game strategy, but based on the evidence - I believe that it is worth committing to. And - this is sustainable for me.

All-or-none thinking makes us think that NEAT is not an effective strategy because it doesn’t seem hard enough. I am busting out of this way of thinking and committing to this strategy.

What do you think? Willing to give it a try?

Mind-Body Physician Coaching for Lasting Results

The Must-Try Self-Care Program to Cure Physician Burnout
By Dr. Ali Novitsky, M.D.

“Are you creating your thoughts? Or, are your thoughts creating you?"  — Brooke Castillo

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Many healthcare professionals are hesitant to start a new self-care program because we have tried so many in the past that took a lot of time, money, and energy, but didn’t yield any long-term results. 

Let’s face it, many doctors, especially women, just feel worn out. Often, by the time we get home at the end of a long day in the medical field, the last person we focus on is ourselves.

As doctors, we know we need to take care of our bodies and mental health, but we tend to push through the feelings of burning the candle at both ends.

We tell ourselves lies like, “I don’t have time to work out,” or, “I just need to suck it up and get through this,” instead of addressing the root causes behind why we don’t feel good in the first place.

This is why I developed a custom physician coaching program, from my personal experience leaving stress, exhaustion, and burnout behind.

My program is a mind-body approach that includes a flexible nutrition plan, live workouts and intensive group coaching, as well as peer accountability that leads to life-changing, positive results.

I don’t believe in forcing ourselves into standardized, one-type-fits-all exercise programs we don’t enjoy. Routines that leave us depleted, instead of energized and inspired. I also don’t believe in restricting our diets or eliminating foods we love just to hit an arbitrary “goal weight.”

What I do believe in is real-life results, like your clothes fitting better, being comfortable in your own skin, and feeling in control of your emotions at all times.

Learn more about why my customized physician coaching approach gets real results that last!

Why Does My Physician Coaching Formula Work?

1) This is a mind-body wellness program exclusively tailored to women physicians.

No one understands the unique demands and pressures of being a woman in the medical field as well as other female doctors.

In my program, you get support from your peers — other wellness-focused women physicians, who want to see you succeed and push you to reach your goals.

Joining a like-minded community of positive women who uplift and motivate each other, makes all the difference in transforming our lives from the inside out.

I am also highly involved in this program and will be there to encourage you multiple times a week, with live workouts and intensive, group coaching from one doctor to another. 

2) I  understand your thoughts shape your body (and vice versa!) 

Let me give you an example of what I’m talking about. We have all had a hard week on the job where everything that could go wrong did and then reached for that pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream, maybe even finished off the whole container to drown our emotions, then immediately felt guilty about it after. What ends up happening? The next day we feel bloated, and depressed, which causes us to feel unattractive and lack confidence. We begin anticipating the next rejection, repeating the same cycle of frustration and emotional avoidance.

Ironically, instead of alleviating the original feeling, we were trying to avoid, that emotion is intensified.

Often we overindulge because we’re unhappy about something in our lives and are just seeking comfort. In reality, we are just compounding the problem.

By using bad coping habits, like over or under-eating, over-spending, or drinking too much to distract ourselves and avoid our feelings, we make those painful emotions we are trying to suppress WORSE.

Then we are right back where we started with the root cause of it all . . . which is almost always rooted in a lack of self-worth and not feeling good enough. We end up reinforcing that initial pain when we don’t face how we really feel.

This is also a key cause of physician burnout — the lack of association between our feelings, thoughts, beliefs, and actions. And blaming your busy lifestyle is an avoidance mechanism also.

“According to the National Science Foundation, an average person has about 12,000 to 60,000 thoughts per day. Of those, 80% are negative and 95% are repetitive thoughts.”

(Source)

This pattern can become so ingrained and habitual that we aren’t even aware of it. I help you identify these bad habits and flip the script of negative self-talk in your mind.

In this wellness program for physicians, I teach you how to reset your thinking so you can re-shape not just your body, but your mind too.

3) I focus on healing our biggest emotional triggers first.

Once we have identified these self-limiting beliefs, we have to give ourselves time to feel and process them to see change and growth. My method is based on a “thought model” approach and cognitive-behavioral psychology techniques.

I first learned about the transformative power of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) when I was recovering from post-partum depression.

The truth is . . . I was struggling . . . and CBT was the technique that finally worked for me. I figured if it could get me out of the dark hole I was in, it could also help other women doctors who were feeling stuck in the hamster wheel of their busy lives.

We don’t realize how often what we think about turns into how we feel about ourselves.

And those repetitive, self-sabotaging thought patterns end up affecting our health, relationships, and potential for success. My goal is to help you unearth any subconscious beliefs that are holding you back and help you move them on so you can make room to grow.

If we never bring awareness to these patterns we keep repeating them, making us feel trapped in a cycle that feels hopeless, disappointed, and uninspired.

When we don’t process our emotions they become habitual, self-destructive beliefs, and our beliefs eventually become actions.

In other words, our beliefs become our reality.

If we never acknowledge how we feel and deal with it, we stay in the dark and our life feels stagnant.

In my program, I help you identify these defeating mindset blocks and release them, so you can live with true emotional freedom and be resilient in any situation.

The end result is you gain the ability to control your feelings instead of your emotions controlling you. And that is true freedom that allows you to live with peace, clarity, and happiness long-term.

4) I don’t use a cookie-cutter approach to fitness and nutrition plans because every person’s body responds differently.

Start by taking my free body-type quiz to get an idea of what your body’s unique needs are.

We are not all the same and our bodies don’t all respond the same way. Once we know our body type, we can customize what workout routines and nutrition plans it will respond to. Also, wellness programs for doctors need to be sustainable. For example, if your lifestyle is busy and I give you an intense routine that has to be done three times a day, eventually you will just stop doing it because you can’t keep it up.

You have to figure out what's going to work for you, your lifestyle, and your body that you can maintain long-term.

Another thing I often notice is people feel like their metabolism has changed permanently. This isn't true, it's just that your body's needs may be different and you have to figure out what your body needs for fuel.

I recommend one power meal a day and that's based on what your body needs, not just a set calorie count or some other arbitrary system that's meant to be the same for many different people.

This is a custom program based on what exactly your body needs to thrive. I give you do-able workouts that aren’t exhausting and intense, so you look forward to doing them.

5) I use science to re-wire our brains and outsmart our biology!

Neuroplasticity, the ability of our brains to adapt and change, is a key ingredient in my client’s transformations. The idea of neuroplasticity is closely tied to a growth mindset because we often have to overcome thought patterns that have been there since childhood. This article, “Body & Brain, What is Neuroplasticity? A Psychologist Explains,” from positivepsychology.com, states, 

“The concepts mirror each other; a growth mindset is a mindset that one’s innate skills, talents, and abilities can be developed and/or improved with determination, while neuroplasticity refers to the brain’s ability to adapt and develop beyond the usual developmental period of childhood.” (Source)

A huge tenet of my physician coaching wellness program for doctors is training women that they can control their thoughts by learning to identify negative beliefs as they arise and transmute them into more positive, hopeful ideas right away.

Catching the negative self-talk train before it leaves the station, prevents these thoughts from turning into bad habits that keep you stuck where you are. Even trauma survivors can re-wire their brains, and when we accept that we can change our thought patterns at will, we re-program our brains to expect success instead of failure.

Integrating thought work into a wellness program, especially for doctors, prevents and cures physician burnout.

The way I approach physician coaching is very different from most traditional, single-modality programs. I believe we can’t just focus on our bodies while ignoring our minds. Often the plateaus we hit in our fitness are rooted in our self-limiting beliefs. We have to start there if we want to see real, lasting change, and I do that with a strategic, science-based approach.

We all want freedom, but we also want to see our hard work rewarded with noticeable change.

My program gives you all the tools you need to heal your mind and body in a convenient, supportive group coaching setting.

In 6 months, if you stick with me and follow my thoroughly-researched guidance, you will be a WHOLE NEW YOU. 

We all know the importance of self-care as doctors, but how often do we focus on it for ourselves?

Imagine having clarity, peace of mind, AND a body you feel confident about in less than half a year! If you’re ready to TRANSFORM your life, apply now at the link below.

Don’t go another day feeling weighed down and burned out. Now is the time to reclaim your vitality and personal power to change your life and start feeling energetic and fulfilled again. 

Remember that youthful energy and the “I’m ready to conquer the world” inspiration you had when you first got out of med school?

I help you get that feeling back in only 6 months while earning continuing education credits.

Apply for my 6-Month Physician Coaching Program and Gain 48 CME Credits!

View the CME curriculum here.

The Biggest Act of Self-Care: Renting a Dumpster

I want to share something HUGE with you.

I did a thing - I rented a giant dumpster to facilitate my spring cleaning.

This is how it started.

I was looking around my house… the one that I have become very intimate with over the last year. And, let’s just say that I will now consider it a “hot mess.”

We have accumulated anything and everything that you could imagine. Every drawer is full. Everywhere I look - clutter. It was feeling suffocating. I wanted a clear space to feel light and airy, and my house had become just the opposite.

So, I messaged my husband Mark and said, “Thoughts on renting a dumpster?” Now - I knew that I had to be very strategic because Mark does not like to part with ANYTHING. But, he was starting to see that this was probably a good idea. I got the go, and called the right away to get our rental on the books. 

The dumpster arrived. I felt at peace.

But… I also felt overwhelmed.

I knew that I had to look through all the stuff and decide what stays and what goes. Which brings me to the point of this post. I am going to go out on a limb and say that we are all in the need of a Thought Dumpster.

That’s right. A dumpster that we can put the thoughts that are simply weighing us down. The ones that we want to get rid of for good. 

Day after day, we collect thoughts. Lots of them. Some of them are awesome… others are not so awesome.

Over time, our brain becomes cluttered if we are not doing maintenance. So, then what happens is that we are completely overwhelmed and don’t know where to start. Potentially, my rented dumpster could remain empty. But that would be a waste. It is a waste when we don’t make it a routine practice to dump the thoughts that are dragging us down.

So what kinds of things do we put in a dumpster?

The things that serve no purpose... not needed anymore… were never needed. Just like some of our thoughts that serve no purpose… not needed anymore… were never needed.

So where do we start?

The key is to just start.

First, survey all of the thoughts that you have going on with a daily thought dump. This is where you vent to your journal. Once you see all that is there, you can start dumping - immediately. Just like we take out the garbage, we have to cleanse our brains of the junk.

If the thought doesn’t create an amazing feeling, throw it away. To feel our best, we have to think the best thoughts. Just like things you choose to keep, we also get to choose our thoughts. So choose wisely!!

I am sooooooo looking forward to a decluttered spring. My house and my mind will have all they need. I highly recommend you join me.

I Learned About Boundaries... at The Dry Cleaners

I had a big AHA moment today.

For the past 10 years, I have been going to the same dry cleaner. The owner is an absolutely lovely woman in her later 60s who is also a master seamstress. Through the years, I have had her adjust many items. 

Picture this. I would arrive at the shop and show her my item. She would shake her head and say, “Wow- difficult material.” I would then change into the item, she would make the hem, I would put on original clothes, and hand her the item. Then I would wait for her to tell me when it would be ready.

On a few occasions, if I asked for an expedited date, she would give a loud sigh and say, “That will be very difficult… I don’t sew on Tuesday through Sunday.” If she agreed to do it, you could feel her frustration.

I always expected this scenario. Everything went fine if I was agreeable to the date. If I suggested something else that was sooner, then we would have the same interaction.

Seems like a silly story huh? And why am I telling you. Well - here is where I put the details together and had a huge AHA moment. 

My dry cleaner got frustrated because I was asking her to do something outside of her boundary. She didn’t sew most days of the week. And just like in all situations, when our boundary is crossed, we get frustrated and angry.

Frustration and anger are very helpful emotions because they alert us that our boundary is being crossed. 

Now, here is the next piece. The dry cleaner told me her boundary. She revealed that she only sews on certain days. But - I would still ask her to complete the job knowing that she doesn’t sew on certain days. You see how this cycle of frustration could continue for her if she believed that I should know better? 

So what happened?

Over time, I learned that if I wanted a pleasant interaction, then I should bring my item well in advance. When I would bring my item in a timely fashion, I got praise. Not timely - no praise. I was being conditioned without even realizing it. Because at the end of the day, my dry cleaner could just have said no. But, I am human, so I went down the conditioning pathway. 

At the same time, I respected the boundaries.

My dry cleaner set boundaries in her own business so that she did not have to sew on Tuesday through Sunday. Because she didn’t say no to me on several occasions… I tested the boundary without even realizing.

When I picked up on her dissatisfaction and took the hint, I believed that the most respectful thing was to stop testing the boundary if I wanted an enjoyable interaction.

Boundaries are when we make our expectations verbally known… and we offer a consequence if the boundary is not respected. In this case, the Tuesday through Sunday rule was revealed by my dry cleaner and the consequence was that we would not have a pleasant interaction if I tried to test it. Now, things get cloudy when it is “business” related… but in this case, it did impact the relationship, so I thought it was great to use as an example.

In a perfect world, to set our boundaries, we just have to know what we want and stick to it. If we waiver, then those boundaries will be tested frequently. We also have to be consistent with the consequence that we offer.

Honestly, this story has allowed me to respect my dry cleaner for knowing what she wants. No matter what the reason. I am also proud of myself that I could use this is pure, wholesome learning.

Remember… we are human. And we humans are in this together.

“Dr. Megan Zeien on Transformation through Strength Training”

When I first evaluated Dr. Zeien’s body type, I immediately could tell she was an athlete.

An OBGYN with two kids living in North Alabama, Dr. Megan Zeien spent her whole life avoiding strength training because she thought it’d make her bulk up, not realizing what an athlete she actually was. This is the story of her transformation.

A Former Cardio Bunny

She doesn’t know where she picked it up, but Dr. Zeien somehow had the belief that strength training would make her get bigger. So she stuck to cardio. Two years ago, she got a Peloton bike and a treadmill, so she was doing a lot of it. But when I offered a free month of coaching, Dr. Zeien couldn’t resist trying it out. She joined my GOALS Society group, strength workouts included, with the five-pound weights that’d come with her Peloton and gone untouched for months. As a result, Dr. Zeien went from no strength training to loving doing it three times a week. She’s seen no bulkiness, but she feels stronger and has seen a big change in her body composition.

Part of what motivated Dr. Zeien is her love of a challenge. And challenging, it was. The first time she did a strength training workout with me, Dr. Zeien could barely walk up the stairs afterward. Doing shoulder push-ups in her second workout with me, Dr. Zeien almost cried because she didn’t know what she was doing. Now, she thinks they’re not that bad after all. And that feeling of being noticeably stronger is a joy.

Dr. Zeien had plenty of potential; she just needed some guidance to know what to do with it. She was never the same size as her model mother, and had a hard time embracing her unique body type. But as an adult, she was health-focused and loved to move, making it easier to slot strength training into her routine.

And now, with the GOALS Society approach, Dr. Zeien’s mindset has totally changed. Today, if she could only do cardio or strength training, Dr. Zeien would choose strength training. Because in Society, we use a very realistic approach to achieve optimal health. We’re not about losing the most weight or getting to the smallest size. Rather, we’re trying to embrace our unique body types.

(For anybody wondering, G.O.A.L.S. stands for Get hungry first, Observe for fullness, Allow our feelings, Love to move, and Stop perfectionism.)

The Mental Transformation

Another big transformation for Dr. Zeien was getting comfortable with the grey zone. For her, the grey zone is a circumstance of her job. She never knows what life will hold, so she has to have a certain amount of flexibility. Finding time to adjust to not being able to work out or meal plan and being okay with it not working out like she wanted to by embracing the grey zone is a necessity.

Since starting with me nearly a year ago, Dr. Zeien now feels stronger both physically and mentally. Her life has drastically changed - in a good way. Heck, she even gets up on Saturday mornings to work out now. And she’s enjoying it, finding it easier to make the life adjustments than might be expected, and proud to model this type of lifestyle for her kids.

As far as nutrition goes, Dr. Zeien has realized that getting stuck at work, unable to leave, made it hard to find healthy, available food. So she started taking her air fryer to work with her and keeping frozen veggies and shrimp in the fridge at work. Now, she eats in her office every day, which has helped her find more free time and given her a dinner option if she gets stuck at work, even if she doesn’t plan ahead for something.

But, of course, even for Dr. Zeien, it all remains a work in progress. One of the things that she has found works best for shifting her mindset is having a thought bouncer - a big gruff guy kicking out any thoughts that don’t need to be there. Because all-or-none thinking and those thoughts of “I’ll never be as strong as I want to or lose as much fat as I want to” will always try to sneak their way in. Her goal is to kick them out sooner, not allowing her brain to ruminate on them, instead of expecting to be able to rid herself of them entirely. Dr. Zeien’s focus is not allowing these thoughts to control her day or her mood and to give herself as much grace as she gives others, knowing it’s okay to miss a workout or to have a margarita with her friends every once in a while.

What Dr. Zeien has found is that when you find something that you believe in, it’s easy to commit to it. She knows strength training makes her feel better and be healthier and stronger. Now, it’s a part of her life that she can stick to and something she recommends to her patients. Today, Dr. Zeien has the motivation to buy heavier and heavier weights. And, best of all, she no longer even cares if she does get bulky, something she didn’t even realize she wanted.

As a result, Dr. Zeien’s six week transformation photos are totally mind-blowing. And all it took was planning and commitment, not eliminating or restricting. For me, seeing Dr. Zeien come in with such a common complaint, completely change her thoughts around it as well as her lifestyle, and make an amazing transformation has been an amazing process.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

PetSmart is the New Disney World

A year ago, our lives changed forever.

Yes... all of us. Pandemics end civilizations.

As a civilization, we have lost so many. The destruction that Covid-19 has caused is beyond what I thought I would see in my lifetime. So for this... I am thankful. Thankful to everyone fighting for our civilization. Doing the next best thing.

But, alongside the destruction, there are other things happening.

Today, I want to tell you about my family. 1 year ago, we made the decision to pull our girls out of school and allow them to learn virtually. We didn’t know the right answer... so we did what we thought best. For the past year, most of our days look the same. And while the cabin fever may be setting in... we are blessed.

A year ago, we felt safe to go anywhere. In fact, last January we traveled to Grand Cayman without masks or worry. We were always out and about with the kids... seeing the world, creating experiences.

We have been very strict with Covid protocol. We have not seen many humans. Recently, we decided to get our puppy groomed. I didn’t realize the silver lining I would discover here.

I took my younger daughter to drop the puppy off, and it was as if she received the greatest gift of her life. She was so excited to see the fish, the birds, the guinea pigs. She wanted to buy all of the puppy toys. I seriously felt like we were at Disney World.

When I saw this happen, I realized something big. This year has recalibrated us. PetSmart never would have been exciting if we took it for granted.

With our recalibration, everything seems new and shiny again. We don’t take anyone or anything for granted. We are showing up differently… better. 

As we are heading into year 2 of the pandemic, it is easy to feel discouraged and devastated. And - it’s ok to feel these things. It’s not comfortable, but it is ok. We have to find the silver linings within our own experiences. 

Yesterday, I had a doctor’s appointment.... and I found myself genuinely happy to be there. Conversations were deeper. Words were more meaningful. Gratitude was stronger. These days, I feel more human. Prior to the pandemic, I felt more superhuman. But - I am not superhuman. And all of a sudden... being human is enough.

The belief that I chose to have is: I am relearning how beautiful a simple life can be. I have enough. My family has enough. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. I am trying to give grace to the woman who didn’t wear her mask to PetSmart because, after all, she is also human.

Christine D'Ercole: “My Body Was Built For This!”

Christine D’Ercole, Peloton mindset master extraordinaire

You know her and you love her: . Christine was actually my first Peloton instructor and her ability to talk to me like I was the only person in the room resonated deeply. When we talked on Women Physician’s Day, I couldn’t wait to hear her amazing story.

When Christine was a little girl, she wanted to be a ballerina. But they wouldn’t put her in any shows with a short tutu as the costume. She was told she was a good dancer, but wouldn’t get a part if she couldn’t lose weight in a matter of weeks. At 12 year old, Christine developed an incredibly dysmorphic sense of self. She carried this feeling of being unworthy for a long time.

Finally, after going to as many means possible to make herself smaller - including self-harm and eating disorders - Christine did a lot of therapy and moved on to acting. She got into Carnegie Mellon’s theatre program and took it as a sign that acting was the right track for her. Then she came across an audition sheet that said she was “a little heavy in the thigh.” This one comment threw her into a tailspin.

Eventually, Christine graduated from Carnegie Mellon and moved to New York. She became a bike messenger because she needed a job to do on the side while auditioning with bike grease under her fingernails. It was during that time that Christine learned - when racing her co-workers in Central Park - that she was a talented cycler and should think about racing.

Christine got curious and dove heavily into cycling. She was doing national competitions, racing for Nautica, and being invited to teams. So she went back to her acting agent and they agreed that this was her time to pursue cycling, not acting. She loved that bike racing had nothing to do with what she looked like. She won races because of decisions she made and the strength she trained for. Discovering that she could be successful because of herself, not somebody else’s opinion of her, was an essential shift.

She’d been so frustrated and so tired of rejection, and Christine naturally moved toward what made her feel good. So Christine said yes to the team and started to race all over the country.

Then she found she was pregnant. She stopped racing. And she gained a lot of weight. Christine had to find a way to be okay in her new body after finally getting to a place of being proud of it. She needed to feel empowered again. So Christine auditioned to be a plus-sized model. She was told she wasn’t big enough as she was, but she could work the fall and winter lines if she wore pads that took her from a size 18 to a 22. So that’s what she did.

In that job, Christine was exercising her ability to be proud of herself when she looked at herself in the mirror. It was a fake it until you make it sort of thing. And eventually, when she looked at herself in the mirror, Christine’s inner voice told her to get back on her bike, forget all of the stuff that had anything to do with others’ opinions of her, and see what she was capable of. She heard herself loud and clear. It was a directive. She finished that day of work and was done.

That year, Christine got a Christmas present: a one-month membership to a gym. So she went and took a spin class. And the class was terrible. The instructor was mean and judgy. Christine knew it could’ve been an amazing experience. She knew that if she were the instructor, Christine would put on beautiful music, helping people want to cross the finish line instead of berating them. So within a month, Christine got certified to teach spin classes.

Not only was Christine empowered by what she was capable of as a cyclist, but she was also on a stage, telling a story, and moving to music - all of the things she’d ever been passionate about. She discovered that all of this was about storytelling, whether through movement in dance, acting in words, or racing on bikes. She realized she was a storyteller using a vehicle of a stationary bicycle to take people somewhere rather than words. 

The messaging and images in our culture telling us we have to look a certain way to be loved and accepted are so loud, making us feel that if we don’t look that way, we should just give up. But Christine believes that we should all be able to walk around naked and proud instead of hiding our bums with our shirts.

Self-acceptance is still a journey for Christine. She still has bad days. But getting on that bike and speaking to people is cathartic and therapeutic. It’s all about how we talk to ourselves. It’s about finding where we are now and what we can do about it, giving ourselves permission to think of what we can do without boundaries.

Now, approaching 50, Christine realizes that the moments of change in our lives are soft, not hard, sharp angles. It’s a collection of moments that leads us to growth. She hasn’t achieved a perfect mindset. She still has to tell herself in the mirror that she’s bigger than a small pair of pants. And that’s part of the journey.

If you are looking to start your own body journey, I’d recommend. you check out my YouTube page:

If you want to follow Christine, you can find her on Instagram or her website.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

The Thigh Master Changed My Life

My mom recently reminded me of the time that I did my 8th Grade English Presentation on The Thigh Master.

Haha. Yes, you read that correctly. The assignment was to do a demonstration speech. At an early age, I loved fitness equipment and I wanted to share my passion with the world.

I stood in front of the class and got ready to give my talk. But... I just couldn’t stop laughing. So I ditched my lines and decided to just go with it.

I proceeded to demonstrate a workout for the class. It was such a hit, my good friend Michael Riecke asked the teacher if I could do it again. I can remember him laughing and clapping... it was the best.

I am now leading a a program where exercise is a huge component of what I do. AND I ABSOLUTELY ADORE IT. I love being able to help others process thoughts and emotions through movement.

So, why am I telling you this story?

See, I never forgot about my Thigh Master presentation. It was this presentation alone that gave me confidence to put myself out there. I didn’t know if I would get an F or an A on the project - but I believed in it - so I did it. I believed in myself, and I evaluated the worst case scenario. What is the worst thing that could happen?   

Whenever we have a decision to make, we are often flooded with ideas on how we should proceed. We often make it complicated. But, what if, just for a moment... you could listen to your heart and decide exactly what you wanted to do?

You actually do know what you want. Often, we just don’t give ourselves the space to recognize it.

Once you know... then likely your brain will give you reasons why your choice may not be optimal.

This is where you ask yourself... What is the worst thing that could happen? Identify it... have a strategy for what you would do if it did happen... and are you willing to risk it? If you are willing to take the risk and follow your heart - then you can move full speed ahead. 

Others will always have their opinions, and you can listen... or not. Your energy will be best spent on creating space and moving fearlessly forward.

Give the space and listen to the signs. Who knew that my 8th grade presentation would have given me a clue for what I was meant to do. I will forever be grateful to the Thigh Master... the device that allowed me to express my humor and embrace my unique ideas. Without hesitation, I can say that The Thigh Master changed my life.

“I Don’t Need It, But I Want It”

The thought, “I don’t need it, but I want it” brings up so many different feelings. We feel doubtful or even guilty and selfish. And it comes up often in many different places, like when you’re ordering groceries, online shopping, and cleaning out your closet.

It can get kind of fuzzy when we have to draw the line between need and want. How do you know which is which? And when is it okay to just want it?

Here’s my answer: if you want it, you have two choices. You can own wanting something and proceed in wanting that thing, or you can think more and come up with pros and cons, coming to the decision that you don’t need it and talk yourself out of wanting it. But if you’re constantly having little reminders of whatever it is that you want, you can probably pay attention to them. After all, what’s so wrong with just wanting something for pleasure?

Pleasure

Pleasure is a human experience that can be embraced. It’s so important to allow ourselves to experience pleasure and do things that we want to do just because. So why don’t we create more pleasure in our lives?

How does pleasure feel? It’s slow. You want to stay in it forever. It’s typically centrally located in your heart, radiating out. What things bring you that type of pleasure? For my clients, it’s hugs and snuggles, candles, hot tea, and exercise. Clothing, pajamas, and sheets that they love. People whose presence makes them feel pleasure.

There are so many ways to incorporate pleasure into every day. Typically we don’t make it a priority because it’s not a survival necessity. It’s not something that has to happen, but we can choose to make it happen which will make our lives even more full.

So if you’re craving a full, flowing, amazing life that’s a bit slower than the one you’re currently living, pleasure may be something you need.

When I channel the feeling of pleasure, I think, “Why don’t I do this more?” and “It feels really good to be in this moment” and “There are so many opportunities in this day to bring something beautiful in my life.” So instead of saying, “I want it but I don’t need it,” we can say, “For me to have the life that I want to, I do need this.”

Comparison

When we think we need something, we’re basically saying something may be wrong, that there’s a void we’re trying to fill. But that is a limiting belief because we aren’t yet adapted to the idea that pleasure is necessary. It leads us down the pathway of feeling selfish and greedy. We start judging, comparing ourselves to others, weighing our priorities against those of others and starting to believe we want or need something we don’t really want.

So where do we go from here? How do we start thinking about what we want?

For us to decide what we want and truly need, we can start with the basics: food, shelter, water. In fact, simplifying in this way can be a great source of pleasure. And when you really think about what’s enough, you’ll start to feel like you are enough. Then you can get to that place of asking yourself what you want. When we’re able to go from “Who am I?” to “What do I need?” and “What do I want and what brings me pleasure?” we can embrace our unique beauty and avoid those comparisons. We’ll all find our own zone, understanding what feels good for us.

Have you ever had a friend or a relative in your life who does something that brings them pleasure, like redoing their kitchen or getting a dog, and you hear the announcement and it brings up something weird for you? You’re super excited for them but you also wonder, “Do I need that? Do I want that? Maybe I should do that.”

When those we love are going in a certain direction, we wonder if we’re missing out. Let’s figure out who you are and what you want independent of others. Because if you’re wanting things based on comparison, it might lead you down a path that you may not want to go down.

Hats

We all wear so many different hats. Partner, mother, friend, daughter. When we start to break down what we need and want, it’ll look different when we have our different hats on.

One of my hats is “athlete.” When I’m wearing that hat, I need movement. But what I want is to keep getting better and stronger because it brings me a lot of joy and empowers me. Materially, I might have everything I need to keep getting stronger and staying healthy. But I want new equipment and memberships. And that’s okay! Maybe not everybody needs a GHD device in their home gym, but it was something I wanted.

The idea is that it’s okay to want things. Even if you’re having a tough time drawing the line between need and want, it’s fine! There doesn’t need to be a solid line between need and want because those things change from day to day, month to month, year to year, and hat to hat. The important thing is to check in with yourself to see where you are in your life and make room for both the needs and the wants. You’ll find they blur together nicely.

The reason this topic is so uncomfortable is that it requires being comfortable with the grey zone between needing and wanting. We don’t have a definitive answer all the time. In the grey zone, we have to go with the flow and figure it out.

So spend some time today checking in with yourself and figuring out what it is that you want. Break down all the hats you wear and focus on one of them. Go through the process of figuring out what you want and what you need for that hat.

For example, let’s look at the “partner hat.” In a relationship, the things you need are the dealbreakers. They’re your boundaries, what you need for the relationship to flourish. The things you want are the ones that are exciting about the relationship, like having a date night once a week.

So what do you want? Pick a hat. Think about what you want. This work will allow us to have self-love, self-acceptance, and compassion for ourselves. Remember, you are perfect. You are enough. And it is okay to want things for pure pleasure.

Click here to listen to the podcast.

Unconditional Love

With uncertainty all around us, I thought it would be fun to share some of my personal stories regarding observation of unconditional love.

What is unconditional love, anyway?

It’s really hard to just assign it a definition, right? But, let’s make a deal. After you finish reading my share, I want you to reflect on your life... honor your stories... notice the signs of unconditional love all around you.

Now, what I am about to share might not be pretty, but it’s real. 

Unconditional love is when I disregard an idea that my husband, Mark, is super excited about. Yes, for real. We have been talking about remodeling our kitchen. The remodel is my idea because I love to cook, entertain, and eat… you can tell I was raised by an Italian mother, huh?

Well... Mark thought that it would be a great idea to replace a beautiful chandelier with a ceiling fan. I immediately had a violent reaction and said, ”Um, no way.” 

I know we are talking about a ceiling fan, but he was LEGIT excited about this. A few seconds went by, and I realized that I could have been kinder in that response. I turned to apologize, but he had already gotten over it. He didn’t even know what I was apologizing for.

Unconditional love is when someone can see through the words and know the intentions of your heart.

Unconditional love is when I catch my 6 year turning on the baby monitor for the puppy during her class break and talking kindly to her. She always says, “Hi girl. It’s ok girl. We will come get you soon, girl.” It’s the way the 6 year old cares about what we are eating for dinner only to make sure that it is safe for the dog in case a scrap falls. 

Unconditional love is when you haven’t talked to a close friend for months - maybe years - and when you do, you pick back up like nothing has changed. It’s also when you don’t see eye-to-eye with a friend, but that doesn’t really matter. Those disagreements are forgotten. 

It’s when you haven’t seen your parents in over a year because of the pandemic... and they say, “Don’t worry, it’s ok - as long as we get to hear your voice, we are happy.”

Unconditional love for ourselves  is when we say “enough” and we start protecting our boundaries. We start accepting the idea that we can say ENOUGH because we ARE ENOUGH. Without any bells and whistles, we are ENOUGH. 

When we can believe this... we start to see that others are enough... and we start to drop the unrealistic expectations for others. And, we are able to love unconditionally.

“Dr. Mona Singh: A Journey To Optimal Health”

Dr. Mona Singh, a pediatrician from California, has been in my coaching business since the very beginning. She found me through a Facebook group where another one of my clients posted about having had great success changing her eating habits and thinking by working with me.

At that time, Dr. Singh was heavier than she wanted to be, using food to numb herself from stress, sadness, and loneliness. She was super frustrated, feeling like her weight was holding her back, and her A1C was coming up to the range where her doctor brought up medication as a possibility. For Dr. Singh, this was a wake-up call.

By that point, she’d tried everything: Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, nutritionists, hypnotherapy, Whole 30, low carb, no sugar. All of them were successful for a short time, but she’d inevitably fall off and put on more weight, which was the worst part of it. She felt bad, lethargic, and like there was no end in sight. So almost as a last resort, she reached out to me.

Thankfully, that’s what finally brought the change that Dr. Singh was looking for. I started her out with thought work, doing a five-minute thought download every day. With the alternative thought models, something opened up for her. She realized she didn’t have to come home from work stressed out every day. Only then did we start working on how Dr. Singh could change what she was eating. Once she understood her negative thoughts and how to change them, eating wasn’t a struggle anymore.

Even without restricting, still drinking a Coke a day, Dr. Singh lost about 30 pounds and her A1C came down from 7.2 to 5.5. She started eating vegetables on her own, not because she had to, but because she wanted to. Slowly, one Coke a day turned into a Coke every other day to once in a while, whenever she wants one.

There once was a stop sign that was monumental for Dr. Singh. She passed it every day on her way home from work and by the time she reached it, she’d decided: either she was going to get fast food and indulge or she’d go home to eat normal food. But now, she just drives past that stop sign without having to think about it.

At first, Dr. Singh struggled with urges, specifically those that came from restlessness. And today, they’re still not fun, but they’re no longer the struggle they once were. When we first started to work together, Dr. Singh would give in to any urge that came up. Except when she was dieting; every diet plan she’d tried in the past forced her to white-knuckle her way through urges.

Together, we talked a lot about urges. Dr. Singh realized that urges feel fast, like you have to react to them. She had to come to terms with having to sit there and let the urge slow down, knowing nothing bad is going to happen. We practiced not making decisions or giving in to her cravings until the feeling slows down. She’d wait until the urge slowed down and all of a sudden, she wouldn’t necessarily need that cookie. And the more she did it, the less scary the urges became. And now when urges come up, Dr. Singh can ride them out until they’re done.

The truth is that when we can trust ourselves enough to allow that time, that is how we can overcome the urges. Dr. Singh’s transformation wasn’t only physical but also emotional and mental. And most importantly, she’s sustained it for years. That being said, it is continued work. There are still things to fine-tune and more weight Dr. Singh wants to lose.

Coaching Intuitive Eating

So, today, Dr. Singh and I worked on stopping eating when she’s satisfied. She can identify when she’s satisfied, but actually stopping at that point is tough. Typically, what takes a lot of work is knowing when your body feels like it’s had an appropriate amount of food. When she knows she’s satisfied, Dr. Singh feels a feeling that’s a bit fast, almost like anxiety. She thinks, “It’s not fair that I have to stop eating. I’m enjoying this and it’s been a long day and I want to keep eating.” And these are common thoughts.

It’s a thought distortion called the fallacy of fairness. We think we’ve worked so hard and we deserve to indulge, turn our brains off, get the dopamine going, and enjoy our food. For Dr. Singh, this thought comes with feelings of fatigue and secondary thoughts of, “What am I doing? I should really stop eating now.” That’s what creates that fast feeling of anxiety. And fast feelings lead to actions of trying to do something, like finishing those last few bites. We’re not okay stopping or being still.

When your body feels satisfied but you want to eat more food, it’s a perfect time to slow down and say, “What’s really going on here?”. For Dr. Singh, it’s wanting comfort after a long day.

So now, we have to create a different belief that will give Dr. Singh the result she wants, which is stopping at satisfied, being able to go to bed not hungry or full, and continuing to lose weight. So what’s a thought we can create and believe that will give us this result?

So we work backwards. What beliefs make Dr. Singh determined to stop eating when she’s satisfied? “I want to feel good when I step on the scale at the end of the week and keep making progress. By feeding my body the appropriate amount, I will arrive at my goal. And I can go back and eat more if I’m hungry later.” Instead of spinning into thoughts of, “I should really stop,” she wants to go into the place of, “Food is available to me any time. If I’m hungry I can come back and get more. But to achieve the goals that I want, the best thing I can probably do right now is get some rest.” When she’s satisfied, Dr. Singh can go and lay down or take a shower, knowing she can always come back and get something to eat later on.

Coaching Exercise

Another issue we talked about today is that Dr. SIngh has a hard time getting started with exercise. Once she’s there, she feels great, but she has trouble getting started. For a long time, she was committed to a minimum baseline of exercising three times a week, but lately, she hasn’t felt like it and sometimes only gets in two, one, or even no sessions in a week.

Well, your baseline minimum should be so minimal that it’s almost hard not to achieve it. So if you’re having trouble getting there, it may be a sign that you need to bring it down even lower. Because you want to be able to feel that sense of accomplishment which helps you create thoughts like, “It’s a privilege to be able to exercise” or “Exercise helps me feel less stressed,” which leads to a result of exercising more.

High achievers like Dr. Singh often think little goals are worthless, that they won’t do anything. But the idea is that the magic will happen in the grey zone, the place between perfection (which we don’t even bother striving for because it doesn’t exist) and not showing up at all. The more we can create grey zones in our lives, the more growth we’ll have.

Dr. Singh may have perfectionist tendencies, which can lead to all or none thinking that makes her want to throw in the towel when she doesn’t perfectly follow her plan. That’s why, with me, she doesn’t really have a plan. Instead, she has flexibility and trust that allows her to go all-in on the perfectly imperfect grey zone, which has allowed her to achieve amazing results.

That being said, this is all a journey. Dr. Singh still has negative thoughts and emotions. She still has positive thoughts and emotions. That’s the human experience. But if you actually think about it, negative emotions don’t actually feel that different in your body from positive emotions. The main difference is that negative thoughts create negative emotions and positive thoughts create positive emotions. Our body doesn’t know if it’s feeling fear or excitement sometimes. It’s our brain that tells us if we’re afraid or excited. We tend to be so afraid of the feeling, but if you take the thought away and allow the sensations, the feelings don’t feel all that different.

So moving forward, Dr. Singh will write herself a few post-it notes to remind herself to live in the grey zone of making an effort but not killing herself either. She’ll be able to keep moving forward, sustaining and improving on her amazing results.

To listen to the podcast episode, click here.

“I’m Afraid of Missing Out”

Why FOMO Happens

We often worry there’s something wrong with us if we have fear of missing out. But it’s actually a beautiful, human thing. It’s saying that you want to be connected with your community. It’s a very human thing, craving social connection. That’s amazing.

Knowing this, fear of missing out can even serve as an exciting reminder that we’re human. Because we try to suppress so many of our human thoughts and emotions. But negative emotion is a good thing. The reason why we call it “negative” emotion is because we’re typically having thoughts that aren’t super positive that create these emotions.

But emotions are simply things we feel inside our bodies. Negative or positive, we don’t have to try to avoid emotions. All we have to do is get more comfortable with being uncomfortable. Then we can handle feeling any feeling.

Areas Where We Most Commonly See Fear of Missing Out

Social Gatherings

Maybe a cool event is coming up. t’s going to be so much fun. All your favorite people will be there. There are going to be great pictures and memories. It’s going to be amazing. You think, “They’re going to have the best time. They’re going to make connections with each other. They’re going to create memories. They’re going to change their lives during this event and I’m not going to be there. I won’t be part of the crew anymore. I’ll be forgotten.”

Of course, this isn’t the case. In these situations, it’s all about trusting yourself and being happy and content with yourself. You can go to or not go to a million events but at the end of the day, if you’re happy with yourself, the fear of missing out won’t be as powerful. You’ll believe, “I’m perfectly fine as I am. People love me just as I am even if I can’t go to certain things. There’s always next time. I can create an experience any time that I want.”

While it’s a beautiful thing that you crave connecting with people, you don’t have to be at every event and do everything to maintain that human connection.

Lifestyle

What about health goals? In my Society group, I have many women with many different goals. Some want to lose a few pounds. Some want to gain a few pounds. Some are fine just the way they are. But sometimes, when one person looks at another person’s goal, they can be influenced to think that should be their goal, too.

But “should” is a thought distortion that means that what we’re doing right now isn’t good enough. It makes us feel less confident in our own goals, so we start looking at what other people are doing and thinking, “So-and-so got great results. She’s doing it right. I have to change what I’m doing to do it her way.” This creates lots of confusion, negative emotion, and doubt.

Instead, we have to start having thoughts like, “There are many different ways to do the same thing. Other goals are allowed. Even if I don’t have the same goal as somebody else, we can still support one another on our journeys.

If we want to try new things out of curiosity, we want to make sure we have the right thought for curiosity: “I know what works for me but I’m not opposed to trying something else to see if it could help me even more.” But ultimately, at the end of the day, we have to come back and check in with ourselves and see if it works for our body type and our lifestyle. When we can explore different things and ultimately decide what works for us, that’s when we’ll no longer have fear of missing out.

Family

People in a partnership or marriage sometimes miss being single. Then there are the single people who would give anything to have a partner or spouse. Some people want to have children while others envy those who don’t. On both ends, there is fear of missing out. Because whatever circumstance is in your life, you can’t avoid the fear of missing out. You can always find another thing to have fear of missing out for.

We can take any circumstance and have fear of missing out on it. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side. We can always have fear of missing out on the grass we don’t have in our yard. But it all comes down to nurturing the grass that we do have.

The FUN of Missing Out

What if instead of fear of missing out, we could have the fun of missing out? In order for us to have fun missing out, we have to create a feeling of excitement and fun. What thoughts give us a fun feeling with the circumstance of missing a great event, like an amazing boathouse party full of expensive champagne?

Instead of going to fear of missing out, we need to shift to the fun of missing out. We can think, “What else do I want to do? How can I turn this around?”. Maybe you just want to drink tea and watch a great movie at home alone. Maybe you can realize you’re missing nothing because you can be just fine right here in this moment. If you can create feelings of content and fun, the action you’ll take is investing the time to be compassionate toward yourself and knowing you’ll be okay even if you miss this opportunity.

Strategies for Handling FOMO

1)    Recognize that you’re having fear of missing out.

2)    Accept that you’re having these thoughts and feelings. Know it’s completely okay.

3)    Decide if you want to shift into what’s best for you, like a place of self-compassion. How can you own what you’re doing?

4)    Get out of your head. Find a way to connect mind, body, and breath to be in the moment. Meditation can be a great strategy for this. Shift into parasympathetic mode and slow things down.

5)    Think about the other times you’ve missed out on things. Everything was fine. Maybe regret will come up, but all that means is that you made the best decision you could back then. But you’re different now. You can’t compare apples to oranges.

To listen to the podcast episode, click here.