Boundaries for Women Physicians
Have you ever been so busy helping others get what they need, that you feel lost in what you need? I think it happens way more than we care to admit. Let’s be honest, we are very good at taking care of others… we have dedicated careers centered on just this. But, how do we give ourselves equal attention?
Introduce Self-Boundaries.
We will come up with hundreds of reasons why we don’t need to take time for ourselves. We have heard that we should, and sometimes we even trick ourselves into thinking that we are taking time. But, I guarantee that unless we are setting aside specific times for just us - we are probably not giving ourselves the time that we need. And, if we are not giving ourselves time… eventually we may feel lost. If we didn’t give our best friend time, what would happen? The relationship may feel lost.
Self-Boundaries can be skillfully created when we are first willing to meet ourselves where we are. So, how do we figure this out? I like to think about where I am in terms of my: mental, emotional, physical, and relationship health.
Then I ask these questions:
How are my current thoughts supporting my life’s mission? What needs tweaking?
How has my anxiety been (on a scale of 1-10) upon first waking in the morning?
How does my body feel?
Have my workouts been consistent? Why or Why not?
Has my nutrition been consistent? Why or Why not?
How connected do I feel with my immediate family?
Once I go through and answer these questions, I can then prioritize where I need to focus my energy so I can best meet myself where I am.
Let me go through an example.
How are my current thoughts supporting my life’s mission? What needs tweaking?
In general, I am creating thoughts that are driving good, solid, action. I am noticing some overwhelm because I am thinking that there is so much to get done.
How has my anxiety been (on a scale of 1-10) upon first waking in the morning?
The past week, I have been around a 4, which is well-managed for me.
How does my body feel?
Muscles are fairly sore, I know I have been hitting the strength training pretty hard, however, nothing I need to pull back on just yet.
Have my workouts been consistent? Why or Why not?
Yes, I have a clear plan that follows the working smarter not harder strategy - and I love it.
Has my nutrition been consistent? Why or Why not?
For the most part, yes. I have been following a more intuitive eating approach past week and I feel great.
How connected do I feel with my immediate family?
Mark and I really need a date night. I have been spending more quality time with the girls.
Next, I rank my top 3 priorities based on my responses.
Get a date night with Mark on the books
Address overwhelm with some guided thought work
Take close inventory on workouts and consider altering
So, now I have 3 actionable things that I can work on right now. And, when I do, I am meeting myself in a useful way and targeting the areas that need a bit more help. You can run this list as often as you want. It will ensure that you are keeping up with self-care and setting boundaries to make adjustments as needed.
Homework: make a list of your own. Bonus if you share it with us.
My friend, Dr. Sasha Shillcutt, has a new book I think you would all find life changing. In her book, Brave Boundaries, Sasha utilizes practical and powerful tools, concepts, and exercises, to invite you into an empowering and peaceful way of life. She shares personal and professional expertise on how you can overcome burnout and take back control of your time and your life by learning to set clear work-life boundaries. She examines the hopeless cycle of self-criticism, the social expectation of what a woman “should” be, and the incessant drive to please. Then, she guides you down the path of discovering who you were created to be by helping you take a boundary inventory. I encourage you to purchase it HERE!
Check out our recent podcast interview on Brave Boundaries HERE.
Want to learn more about how my coaching programs help women physicians achieve optimal health? Click HERE for a private info call with our Concierge team!
About Ali Novitsky, MD
Dr. Novitsky is certified by the Life Coach School, Obesity Board Certified, a physician speaker, and fitness enthusiast. Ali helps women physicians achieve their optimal health with scientific, yet intuitive, principles that work.
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