Is Being a Perfectionist Harmful or Helpful for Women Physicians?

6 Small Steps to Overcome Perfectionism & Bring More Peace and Satisfaction Into Your Life

By Ali Novitsky, M.D.
Triple Board Certified in Neonatology, Pediatrics, and Obesity Medicine

Does this cycle of perfectionism sound familiar to you?

You set unrealistically high expectations for yourself, get overwhelmed by what it will take to achieve them, and then FREEZE . . . Now you’re beating yourself up for not getting to where you wanted to be fast enough and then you start doubting yourself and feeling down.

If this sounds like you, just know that you’re not alone, many of the women physicians I work with in my life coaching programs are experiencing the same vicious, self-defeating cycle in their lives. My goal is to help them release the fear of failure that is holding them back and start living lives of freedom and bliss again.

If you find yourself procrastinating and then feeling lazy, don’t beat yourself up! You may just be suffering from a toxic level of perfectionism, which is very common for all physicians, especially women. This causes intense feelings of shame, self-doubt, and fear that immobilize even the best of us.

If you’ve ever set impossibly high goals for yourselves only to be left disillusioned and disappointed, this article will help you find a better balance between achieving your dreams and keeping your mental health balanced.

1. Become More Mindful of Perfectionist Traits & All or Nothing Thinking

Take this quick, 10-question perfectionist test, or read this blog with 10 signs you may be a perfectionist to see if you relate.

Most women physicians are self-reported perfectionists.

We all feel that constant pressure to be "perfect" when there is so much at stake with our patients.

Of course a level of perfectionism is expected in the medical profession, but when this expectation spills over into every other aspect of your life it's easy to see how it quickly causes overwhelm. 

So, how do we know when perfectionism is becoming harmful instead of helpful?

One key difference between high achievers and perfectionists is “all or nothing thinking.”

Whereas high achievers can find satisfaction in achieving smaller goals, perfectionists are rarely fulfilled unless they hit the ultimate goal, feeling like a failure if they fall short.

As mentioned in this article, we sometimes forget that we are all human, and we all make mistakes.

Have you always had high standards for yourself? 

If you can’t remember a time when you haven’t been highly critical of yourself, you may just be a perfectionist! it’s also the reason you may have been driven to such an exacting profession in the first place. 

Perfectionists tend to set unusually high standards for themselves, then procrastinate when they get overwhelmed by them.

Then, when you fall short of those super-high goals, goals that were probably too big of a leap in the first place, you become immobilized by fear. This is called “perfection paralysis” and we’ll discuss that more in the next section.

2. Let Go of the Fear of Failure

If you’re already identifying as a perfectionist, you’re likely motivated by an intense fear of failure. This becomes unhealthy when you’re constantly stressed or disappointed by goals that aren’t easily achievable.

This fear of failure reinforces feelings of unworthiness or low self-esteem that are pushing you to overachieve in the first place.

In my life coaching programs, I've noticed a common theme — that  women physicians tend to beat themselves up for not getting something right the first time. And this is even when learning something new, such as a different way to approach fitness and nutrition.

The precision that being a doctor requires means that most of us struggle with this need to “be perfect,” which keeps us from trying new things that may benefit us.

In our personal lives, this may translate into feeling down and a deep dissatisfaction with our lives when we put constant pressure on ourselves to get everything perfect the first time around. So we avoid the very things that would help us grow.

Then things start to feel out of control and we feel stuck.

This has a name and it’s called “perfection paralysis.” Instead, we should get used to taking the next best step and try not to project too far out into the future, which causes most perfectionists to stop before they even start.

3. Know When Perfectionism is Becoming Unhealthy

So, is perfectionism a good thing or a bad thing? According to this article, by Dr. Melissa Welby, M.D., the high expectations that perfectionists put on themselves creates a slippery slope that quickly becomes harmful to your mental health if unchecked. And it starts even before we become doctors . . .

In this study of med students, “More females (41% - 52%) experienced clinical levels of impostor phenomenon compared to males.” Many of those med students that felt imposter syndrome reported “shame, embarrassment, or inadequacy” according to this article, which states that they also reported higher levels of depression and anxiety.

And this is while we’re still in med school, so it’s easy to imagine what the increased pressure of becoming a full-time physician does to our mental health when we have been practicing perfectionism for years before!

Imposter syndrome is like the evil stepsister of perfectionism.

Major signs of imposter syndrome include feeling like you’ll never be good enough, or like you will be “found out” for not knowing what you’re doing. This creates an underlying anxiety and stress you aren’t even aware that you’re dealing with on a day-to-day basis.

It’s easy to see then how perfectionism paralysis becomes a key component of physician burnout.

When related to your fitness and wellness, perfectionism translates to not having realistic body goals and not accepting the limitations of your natural body type.

This sets you up for failure when you feel like you’ll never reach your goals, which are often unrealistic in the first place. One huge component of my life coaching programs for women is accepting your true body type and learning how to work with it to maximize your genetic potential.

4. Set Small Goals and Boundaries to Keep Perfectionist Paralysis at Bay

Having patience with yourself and allowing yourself to celebrate the small victories is the first step in changing your perfectionist habits. 

Take small steps towards reaching your goals to prevent the overwhelm and procrastination that perfectionism brings.

Try SMART goal setting that helps you focus on the next best step rather than planning too far ahead and losing sight of your short-term wins.

So often we forget to celebrate all of our accomplishments along the way to the BIG GOALS. 

As a life coach for women, I often see this in our fitness and mental health journeys too. Take a moment to pat yourself on the back for all the ways you’ve stayed strong and healthy despite a grueling schedule and ever-changing world climate.

As women physicians, we also need to learn to set boundaries and say “no” more often, so we don’t spread ourselves too thin. 

Boundary setting is often a challenge for my life coaching clients, but this often spills over into our personal lives when we overcommit and run ourselves ragged. This is exhausting and zaps our energy, so we have to learn how to let the need to “do it all” go. 

5. Give Yourself Permission to Fail Up & Try Something New

This goes along with the black and white, “all or nothing” thinking. 

Without giving yourself a chance to learn as you go and make mistakes, you’ll never reach the top. 

What happens is you avoid growth and stay stuck in a safer, more comfortable place where true expansion is limited. Allow yourself a chance to fail, and accept that it’s OK, this is how we adapt and grow.

As Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed, I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

You have to give yourself room to process what you’ve gained from every perceived mishap without the pressure of feeling like you have to get everything just right out of the gate.

Read a biography of someone you look up to and I bet you’ll see it probably took them years of trial and error to get to where they are now

If you allow yourself to be human, not a robot, you’ll stop beating yourself up for every little faux pas and start seeing any hiccups along the way as necessary lessons to get you to where you’re going.

So, give yourself a break and take up a new hobby or program to relearn that adaptable beginner mindset. When you adapt the open mindset of a student again, the growth potential is unlimited, and you’ll soon realize how silly it is to expect immediate perfection. 

Free yourself from the mental trap of perfectionist habits and try something new today.

6. Surround Yourself With Support from Other Women Physicians Who Get It

The benefits of surrounding yourself with other women who understand the unique demands and pressures of being a physician can’t be understated.

That’s why I created a monthly wellness program for women physicians, called G.O.A.L.S Society, where you get live workouts with your peers, plus mindful nutrition and mindset guidance from women physicians just like you! See more here . . . 

Live On-Demand Workouts,
My Signature Mindful Macro® Nutrition Program, and
Intuitive Mindset Coaching
to start releasing perfectionism today!