Cheers to 13 Amazing Years

Tomorrow, my husband Mark and I celebrate 13 years… and I wanted to share our early Love Story with you all.

The first week of medical school in August of 2002, we had a class outing at Dave and Buster’s in downtown Philadelphia. At this bar, I met him. Little did I know that I would get to keep him - FOREVER.

We spent time in a group setting for the first few months, and by Thanksgiving we were inseparable. Many people had speculations regarding our relationship, but the truth is that we were best friends. It all felt so easy and natural. I attributed this to Mark’s laid back nature.

Then something crazy happened. Mind blowing really. I had a realization that I was head over heels in love. The thought went something like this, “If he meets someone who becomes his girlfriend, I will be absolutely devastated.” I made the choice to confess my love to him. 

Just after our first year of medical school was completed, I decided that I would tell him how I felt. This seemed outrageously bold to even consider. I was the girl who was friends with all of the boys. Truth be told, I never had an actual boyfriend in the romantic sense. 

I remember our exact conversation. My stomach still has butterflies when I relive the moment. I said, “I am in love with you. But, if you don’t love me back, then I will need space from you. I can’t JUST be your friend anymore.”

Those clear blue twinkling eyes looked right in mine. They looked confused with a bit of regret. He said, “I want to JUST be your friend. Nothing more.”

I held it together long enough to get into my car and drive away. I had set a boundary. I realize now that this was an act of self-preservation. 

I drove 3 hours to my childhood home. I cried… a lot. I planned to spend the rest of the summer away from him. I would use this time to heal from the rejection that I felt. I wish I knew then that I was 100% responsible for feeling rejected. 

I’m smiling as I write this because what I would have wanted to feel in this situation was proud. But, if I wanted to feel proud, then I would have had to think, “Damn girl. Good for you! You took a chance on love. You were vulnerable. You set a good boundary for yourself.” 

Now, are you ready for the best news ever? My vulnerability inspired Mark to take a chance. Two weeks later he called to tell me that he was getting in the car to visit me - immediately. I warned him not to, but he did anyway.

The anticipation of this visit was interesting. All of the thoughts left me with a deep-seated confusion. I set the boundary, why was he breaking it? Why did I let him? I watched for the grey Honda Civic all afternoon. 

The car pulled in the driveway. I can’t remember feeling anything. But, I remember hearing everything. He said, “Ali, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” I seriously laughed out loud. How can this be? 

We often talk about the beginning of us. I had assumed that he did not want to be my boyfriend because I wasn’t enough. Period. Isn’t it interesting when you ask for the actual answers to your questions? We are often way off.

So why didn’t he want to be my boyfriend? In Mark’s words, he didn’t want to be my boyfriend or even JUST my friend, he wanted to be my husband. When he decided to date me, he really decided to marry me. 

Isn’t it ironic that it rained on our wedding day? Would Alanis Morissette be surprised that I couldn’t have cared less? My dad was my wedding planner, and he threw an amazing party. I didn’t care about the details… except one. I was marrying the man of my dreams.

Tomorrow we celebrate our 13yr. anniversary. How did the time go so fast?  

Thank you for letting me share. I love telling this story and reading it back. Sometimes we need to recreate the magic… this seems like a perfect day to do that.