93. The Voice of Experience with Dr. Susan Landers

Jan 26

Battling burnout, struggling to be a better mom, and finding balance are some of the biggest concerns of physician mothers. I’m so glad to share this conversation with an actual voice of experience, Dr. Susan Landers. She join me to talk about how she embraced “good enough,” embraced being a working mom, and found balance in her home and career.

Key Takeaways

Take care of yourself.
Find out what makes you feel really good about yourself and really fulfilled, do that. A lot. Give yourself permission to do what fulfills you. Give yourself a pat on the back.
Have some self-compassion! We’re too hard on ourselves as physician moms. You’re going to be okay.

Listen to Episode 93 Here

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About Dr. Susan Landers

Dr. Susan Landers is a retired neonatologist with 34 years of NICU experience. She practiced in academic medicine (on faculty of two medical schools) and in private practice. She has special expertise in breastfeeding medicine and human donor breastmilk banking. She currently lives in Austin, Tx.

Susan raised three children (now all young adults) with her physician husband while they both practiced medicine full time. In her memoir called "So Many Babies: My Life Balancing a Busy Medical Career and Motherhood,” she talks about some of her best, and worst, life experiences, and how she managed to stay resilient. Susan enjoys sharing the things she learned during her journey as an ambitious, successful doctor who raised three children while working full-time.

Susan attended medical school at the Medical University of South Carolina in Charleston and completed a pediatrics residency at the University of Texas Southwestern Medical School in Dallas. Her neonatology fellowship was completed at Texas Children’s Hospital and Baylor College of Medicine in Houston.

On Struggling with Burnout and Balance

Dr. Susan Landers begins our conversation today by sharing her experience of burnout. It’s something she struggled through for much of her career in academia before choosing to set some boundaries that supported her as a mother, wife, and physician. She offers some advice for new and mid-career physicians from her experience tackling burnout.

Susan gives some tips for how you can ask for help, especially when you’re struggling to. We all know asking for help isn’t the easiest thing to do! She also shares some incredible advice her therapist gave her about how many plates she’s balancing and how that helped her realize what her priorities actually were.

By focusing on what she could actually control, instead of all the things that were out of her control, Susan felt like she was better equipped to create balance in her life.

On Becoming a Working Mom

One of Susan’s biggest struggles was coming to terms with the fact that she was a good enough mom. There’s so much pressure on working moms to be perfect in all aspects of life, especially as a mother and a physician.

After twenty years, she finally understood that she was a working mom and that that is a totally okay and acceptable thing to be. Now Susan’s goal is to continue being good enough. We don’t need to be perfect; we just need to be good enough.

Finally, Susan explains how her supportive community and friends, the people outside her husband and children, are an essential part of creating balance in her life. She knows she can seek conversation, support, and advice from them whenever she needs it.

Are you struggling with being the perfect mom and physician? It’s so understandable. I would love it if you tried to adopt the “good enough” mantra this year and see how that changes your life. Let me know in the comments below what you’re struggling with!

In This Episode

What new or mid-career physicians need to know about burnout [4:45]
How to ask for help when you’re struggling to ask [10:30]
Why you need to realize what your priorities actually are [13:30]
What happens when you focus on what you can control instead of what you can’t control [16:30]
The realities of being a working mom [21:00]
How to be comfortable with your balance of loving your job and loving being a mom [24:00]
Why a supportive community, outside your partner, is essential [26:30]

Quotes

“Sometimes you have to make really big changes to see the light. To figure out what it is that your problem is.” [7:09]

“You have to actually say to yourself, ‘Where do I fit in? What are my strengths? And where can they be used?’” [15:11]

“I struggled to feel like a good enough mom for twenty years. It took me a long, long time, and my dear husband telling me I am a good enough mom, to feel that way. We work so much and we miss so much. We want to be involved in everything our children do, but we all love medicine and we love our job! We love taking care of other people, but we also want to take care of our kids. We’re in a position our whole careers to not be good enough because we’re doing other things besides being a mom. Just accept that who you are is a working mom.” [21:10]

“I think the working moms, especially physician moms, try so hard to be good enough, but they need to stop and say to themselves, ‘I am doing the best that I can. I am a physician and I am a mother and I am doing the best job I can. I’m not going to be perfect but I’m going to be good enough.” [23:16]