30. “I Feel So Alone”

Nov 10

Steps to Take to Cure Loneliness

Understanding who you are
Accepting who you are and loving yourself anyways
Develop an exercise routine
Challenge yourself mentally
Setting small goals

We can feel lonely even when we’re surrounded by people. Frivolous friendships won’t help you feel less alone; it’s all about creating meaningful connections. What if I told you that the most important relationship to build is the one you have with yourself? Let’s explore how we can curb our loneliness by connecting and loving ourselves.

Listen to Episode 30 Here

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The Chief Complaint: “I Feel So Alone”

Feeling lonely is something that most of us have felt at one point or another in our lives. It stems from many places, and something I want to really stress in this episode is that having more connections won’t always cure your loneliness.

More Doesn’t Always Mean Better

What does loneliness feel like to you? For me, it feels like an emptiness in my stomach. It’s aching, uncomfortable, and not something I want to sit with for a long time.

You can have all the friends in the world, but if you don’t have someone you actually connect with, it’s likely not enough. Try to focus on creating meaningful connections, even if that’s only a handful of people, rather than broadening your friend circle.

I want to be really clear here. When you’re making deep connections with someone else to help your loneliness, it doesn’t necessarily have to be another human. My loneliness shifted when we got a dog!

In this episode, I also touch on the connection of bias and scarcity when it comes to loneliness. It’s actually possible for you to create your own loneliness because you’re so used to feeling this way, you can’t see a way out of it.

Develop a Relationship with Yourself

So what’s the solution? Well, I advocate for you to fall in love and build a relationship with yourself. When you feel strong in who you are, what you believe in, and what your priorities in life are, you will stop feeling the need to form false connections with other people.

You build that relationship with yourself by truly understanding who you are. I found that getting an astrological birth chart reading and an Enneagram analysis both helped uncover aspects of myself I didn’t fully understand. Once I knew more of who I am, it was so much smoother to love all parts of me.

Then you need to work on your physical health by developing an exercise routine you love. Next, activate your mental health with some brain-stimulating activities. And finally, start setting small goals that help you achieve the success you deserve.

Trust me when I say that once you’re secure in who you are and love yourself, your relationships with other people will naturally develop. You’ll make deeper connections feel more loved, and those feelings of loneliness will start to disappear.

Homework for Women Physicians

Have you ever had any kind of personality analysis done? What were your results? Did anything surprise you? Let me know in the comments below!

In This Episode

How loneliness manifests in the body [2:10]
Why you should focus on making deep, instead of many, connections [3:30]
How bias and scarcity relate to loneliness [5:30]
How you can create your own loneliness without meaning to [6:30]
How developing a sense of knowledge and a better relationship with yourself will help curb feelings of loneliness [11:00]
What happens to your relationships when you have cultivated a positive relationship with yourself [18:30]

Quotes

“Having a deep connection with a living being is really powerful when it comes to loneliness.” [4:00]

“If you are deeply connected to who you are, what you stand for, and how you want to show up, you can eliminate loneliness by yourself.” [7:56]

“We are not who we were yesterday, we are only who we are today. How we decide to show up today is going to decide who we will be in the future.” [10:15]