58. Dr. Pete on Compassion Fatigue

May 26

It’s a very real thing to experience burnout from being kind and caring all the time. It’s called compassion fatigue and it can have some pretty serious health complications. I’m joined by Dr. Pete Economou to talk about overcoming compassion fatigue, making peace with your body, and grace.

How to Make Peace with your Body

Meditate Regularly
Exercise Often
Eat a Balanced and Healthy Diet
Practice Gratitude and Joy

Listen to Episode 58 Here

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About Dr. Pete Economou

Pete J. Economou Ph.D., ABPP is an Associate Professor at Rutgers University in the Graduate School of Applied and Professional Psychology (GSAPP). He is board-certified in Cognitive and Behavioral Therapy (CBT), a certified mental performance consultant (CMPC), and licensed in NY and NJ to practice psychology.

Dr. Pete works with high performers at the collegiate and professional level, including NY and NJ universities, athletes in the NHL, MLS, and NFL. Dr. Pete is also a student of Zen Buddhism studying at the Morning Star Zendo with Robert Kennedy, Roshi for several years, which has translated into his mindfulness practices offered through the third wave CBT theories. Listen to his podcast, When East Meets West, and follow Dr. Pete on Instagram.

Compassion Fatigue and Grace

Being compassionate all the time does come with a cost - and for us high achieving women, it’s usually time for ourselves. Dr. Pete Economou explains what compassion fatigue is and how to identify if you’re experiencing it.

Pete is very familiar with eating too many Oreos at times - something all of us understand. What Pete teaches is to accept these moments as they are normal, we all give in to a binge. It’s okay. When you learn to accept the behavior, you learn to give yourself grace when they happen.

Part of compassion fatigue is having a lack of boundaries. Setting boundaries does not have to make you any less compassionate. In fact, you’ll probably be more compassionate as you’ve had space to fill your own cup first.

Make Peace with your Body

Pete talks about body neutrality. He says that every single person has some kind of distorted body image. It’s normal, especially in our body-focused society.

But he also shares what happens when you achieve body acceptance and make peace with your body. Your body is your vehicle on this planet, it doesn’t have to look or behave a certain way. Once you find this peace, you can commit to making change.

Finally, Pete explains how you can start making peace with your body. It’s the daily changes, physical and emotional, that help. For him, the two most important factors are regular meditation and reclaiming joy.

Homework for Women Physicians

Do you practice gratitude? Regular practice of gratitude can have significant benefits in so many areas of your life. Start a new habit of writing three things you’re grateful for every day for the next three weeks. Let me know in the comments below how you get on.

In This Episode

What compassion fatigue is [6:30]
The signs and symptoms of compassion fatigue [10:00]
How to accept that you might have a binge [13:45]
How to have compassion and boundaries [19:00]
What happens when you make peace with your body [20:30]
The importance of laughter [24:00]

Quotes

“Compassion fatigue is a depletion of compassion, whether for self or for others. If we’re putting our mask on first, then we’re focused on that self-compassion. This means that yes, you will miss an exercise. You will eat an extra Oreo. You will mess up and you have the permission to do so.” [13:01]

“There is not a human being who doesn’t have a distorted image of their body. With 100% accuracy, each individual has some distortion, whether a thought around their body or an actual perception of it. It’s not until you get to a place of acceptance where it is, it’s your body. In the Third Wave mentality, our body is a vehicle, it’s not actually ours. It’s a vehicle in this life. If we can just have compassion for our body, accept it as it is, for all of its imperfections (whether rational or irrational). It’s about getting to a place of peace around it. I can’t commit to change until I’ve come to peace.” [19:30]

“I really encourage people to find joy. You have to create joy. In terms of compassion fatigue, what I will say is that it’s a lot easier to stay unhappy, apathetic, and depressed. It’s a lot harder to maintain a balanced and well life.” [24:51]