Chief Complaint: “I can’t stick to an exercise routine.”

I want to tell you a story about one of my clients, Daisy. One day, she came to me and said, “Ali, I dislike exercise. I don’t want anything to do with it. I want to be a person that exercises but I just don't like it.” Now, there are a lot of reasons why we have difficulty sticking to an exercise routine, but it always starts here, with our thoughts. Daisy’s thought was “I dislike exercise.” When she had that thought, she felt pretty discouraged, so the action was that she didn’t exercise.

So why did Daisy have that thought of “I dislike exercise”? Well, our automatic thoughts come from experience. For Daisy, one of the only reasons she’d ever exercised was for losing weight and changing her body. She never approached exercise from the point of view of it feeling amazing in her body. She stopped believing in exercise as being good for her and started thinking of it in an appearance sense.

So if you have this thought or similar thoughts, go back and ask yourself how this thought developed. Was exercise an important part of childhood for you? Adolescence? College? Often, we start wanting to change how we look in adolescence and turn to exercise not as a positive thing but as a punishment or a way to change ourselves.

That’s what happened to me. When I was a young kid, our family used to take four-mile walks every Sunday and go out to dinner afterward. So I had a positive early association with exercise. But then when I hit my teens, I got tired of being the bigger friend so I decided to lose some weight by restricting food and overexercising. The reality is that I was a good athlete, being recruited to play softball in college, so my strength and size were a positive thing. But I didn’t see it that way. I thought something was wrong with me, so I had a shift from exercise being a positive thing in my life to being something I had to do to change me.

Now, back to Daisy. See, there’s something cool out there called the baseline minimum approach to exercise. You pick a small amount of exercise that you’re willing to commit to on a weekly basis and make it happen no matter what. You don't have to start running three days a week or weight training five days a week. If you’re new to exercise or have a hard time sticking to an exercise routine, it’s about setting such a low number that it’d be almost impossible for you not to complete.

So I asked Daisy what her baseline minimum amount of exercise is that she could commit to no matter what. And she committed to three ten-minute exercise sessions a week. That’s where she started. And when she had automatic thoughts of “that’s not good enough, what’s that gonna do?”, I said, “it’s okay, just go with it.”

That’s step number one: make a commitment to something small. Ask yourself “what am I willing to do to say that I’m a person who exercises?”. For you to have the result of sticking to an exercise routine, you’re going to have to take action to make that happen. So that could be scheduling your workout for right now, today. It could be asking your partner to keep you accountable. It could be finding a workout buddy. 

And remember, actions come from feelings, which come from thoughts. So to do those actions, you have to feel a certain way: motivated. And the thought that’s going to make you feel motivated isn’t “I don’t like exercise.” It’s more like, “Exercise is good for me. Exercise can help my health. Exercise feels good.” You have to buy into the thought that’s going to make you take action. 

Step two is having realistic expectations. Unless you want to gain a lot of muscle, we’re not thinking of exercise in terms of what it can do for our appearance. We’re focusing on what it can do for our health and function. Start by having the honest conversation of “Why are you exercising? Or why don’t you exercise?”. From there you can set a realistic expectation. 

Maybe your “why” is “I don't’ have anything in my life right now that makes me feel really good. I just want to feel alive.” So that “why” may lead you to try an hour-long walk and reflect on your thoughts. You’ll set your routine based on what will make you feel alive. And maybe your “why” is that you want to shed fat and put on muscle. That’s okay. Just know that you have to be in the right headspace emotionally and mentally to make that happen, so it doesn’t become addictive or obsessive. 

Step three is putting it into action. The truth is that we all have the necessary knowledge and resources. Realistically, committing to an exercise routine is a conscious choice and you are 100% in control. I’d rather you honestly say you’re not ready to take action than say you can’t stick to your routine. 

If you are in that space of not being ready yet, the best thing you can do is give yourself compassion and acceptance. Because ultimately how you’re going to achieve any results is by first loving yourself. It’s okay to say, “Right now I’m not going to pick an exercise routine.” That is empowering. It puts you in control. 

If you are saying yes to exercise right now, make the commitment of sticking to your exercise routine. Think about what would make you excited to put on your sneakers and get out there. For me, there’s a correlation between moving my body and my mind/body connection. It feels good, so I could never give it up. Exercise doesn’t have to change your body. It can bring you peace, make you feel connected, and relieve your restlessness. 

I’m telling you, you can stick to your routine. Do you want to? Are you ready to? If you’re not that’s okay, too. If you are, I invite you on this amazing journey. You are in control of everything in your life and it all starts with your thoughts.