Are you a Self-Critic or a Self-Coach?

Do you have a stronger self-coach or a stronger self-critic? If you have any amount of perfectionism… we can assume that our self-critics are olympian-strength level.  

Sometimes, we don’t realize how this is affecting the relationship that we have with ourselves. Mostly, because we aren’t even aware of how often we are criticizing ourselves. Often these thoughts are just automatic.

The good news is that it takes the same amount of energy to be a self-critic and it does to be a self-coach. Except, if we choose self-coach, we will be paid back in dividends with the energy we are able to acquire. So what is the resistance? Why do we choose to be self-critical? Again, it is not our fault - it is just a slew of old programmed thoughts.

But, now that we are aware: we can do something about it.

We can choose what we want to believe about ourselves. We can become the person who we want to become by thinking differently than we have before. You know the old saying, “If you want the same result, keep doing the same thing.” So, if you want to keep being a self-critic, keep thinking the same thoughts. If you want to be a self-coach, learn to create new ones.

So, let’s start nice and easy.

Think about something that you really really want for yourself. Identify what that is. Be very specific and very clear. As an example, I am going to use the goal of improved body composition. This goal is tangible and comes up in my groups all of the time. If I were working with someone to help them with this goal, from time to time, they may feel “stuck.” Feeling stuck may indicate that deep down we have a belief that we can’t really get what we want. This is our self-critic.  

Here is the good news. You can choose to see your self-critic at the door right now. Today. All you have to do is recognize when your critic is showing up to play. You recognize and then make a decision. Would you prefer to choose your self-coach? Let’s get that self-coach off the bench. With your self-coach on board, anything is possible. And - you will actually have the energy to follow through. Again, it takes no additional effort to choose the coach.

How do you like to be coached? What would your coach say to you to be inspired? What do you need to hear? This is what we work on creating. This is the magic language that will allow you to feel more content, see glimpses of self-compassion, and to stop feeling stuck.

Finally, how will you decide to choose your coach over your critic? Any resistance here? What is the worst thing that could happen if you believed your coach?

You are amazing and dynamic and unique… you got this.