Allowing Yourself to be Cared For
I have to say that this year has been full. When I say full… I mean full in every way you can imagine. Ups and downs combined with questions and curiosity. This year has driven me to think outside the box, getting to know myself even better.
I want to share with you an amazing experience I had this weekend where I joined several others in a circle to learn a new way of healing. It is called Systemic Constellation Work. What is Systemic Constellation Work? Systemic Constellations offer the release of biographical and generational trauma to deepen your relationship with yourself.
And… that's all you need to know for now. Because the purpose of this post is to let you in on the breakthrough I had through this work.
In my life, I have carried this belief that I can do everything and take care of everyone ALL-THE-TIME. The truth is that this is not realistic. This thinking sets ourselves up for not being able to ask for help or to be taken care of.
We can often see this come up in intimate relationships.
My husband, Mark, is INCREDIBLE. Because he is so secure in his masculine energy, he allowed me to hang out in mine as often as I wanted.
Now, a couple of issues here:
I feel stressed in Masculine Energy while I feel light in Feminine Energy.
When I flex my Masculine Energy, we lose the polarity in our intimate relationship, which can create conflict.
I take away Mark's ability to enjoy being the man that he is.
So, essentially I was flexing to an energy that I don't like, which was taking away some of Mark's role. Why was I doing this???? Without going into the origin of why I am this way, I was doing this because it felt uncomfortable to release into someone completely taking care of me. This felt very vulnerable, yet I felt safe.
This realization set the stage for an amazing conversation between Mark and I. And, it went like this:
Ali: "I want to be taken care of by you AND not feel guilty that I am not just doing it myself."
Mark: "I want to be the best husband I can be and take care of you - this would make me so happy."
Ali: "Ok."
Mark: "Ok."
My work is realizing that being taken care of means so many different things. And, for me to feel taken care of, I will need to release into the energy that tells me I can sit back a bit, relax, enjoy, and that someone has my back. Further, someone wants to have my back.
Here is the surprising beauty. Things changed before my eyes. It was me saying yes to my feminine energy that allowed Mark to settle into his authentic energy, too. The polarization is wider now. Which means.... yes, more attraction in the physical, mental, and emotional. And, this is a place that I want to stay.
So, I ask you: what would happen if you allowed yourself to be taken care of? Sit with it… reflect on it. It seemed foreign and scary AND I am so glad I leaned in.
xo,
Ali
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